Ukuthola uthando edolobheni kungaba nzima…ikakhulukazi uma uphonsa izinto ezifana nokuqhelelana komphakathi, ukuvala igebe kanye nokuvalwa kwezindawo zokudlela kungxubevange. Kodwa akuzona zonke izindaba ezimbi: Iwebhusayithi yezezimali yomuntu siqu i-WalletHub zibalwa kamuva nje I-Chicago njengedolobha lama-39 elihamba phambili ezweni labantu abangashadile (ezindaweni ezingaphezu kuka-180). Nakuba izimo zokuqomisana eziwubhubhane zingezinhle, kusekuningi ongakwenza ukuze ungenise othandweni lwakho olulandelayo, okuhlanganisa ukufunda mayelana nokuvezwa noma imithetho yokukhanga. Sikhulume nomqeqeshi wokuzibonakalisa kanye nengqondo Funda Imithombo ukuthola iseluleko sakhe sokusebenzisa ukucabangela, ukubekezela nokunye ukuze ufunde indlela yokubonisa uthando emhlabeni wethu.
OKUPHATHELENE: Izingcaphuno eziyi-18 Zokubonakaliswa Zokusiza Ukufeza Izinhloso Zakho Kulo nyaka
Ungakuchaza kanjani ukubonakaliswa kumuntu ongakaze ezwe ngakho ngaphambilini?
Ukubonakaliswa yisenzo sokuletha okuthile empilweni yakho ngokukhanga nangokukholwa, kusho uFuentes. Izinyathelo zakhe ezilula zingafingqwa njengokukhetha umgomo futhi uvume kuwena (kanye nomhlaba wonke) ukuthi uyawufuna. Kuyisinyathelo esisodwa esingaphezu nje kokucabanga nje, usho kanje. Empeleni lithi, ‘Kulungile, ngicela le nto endaweni yonke,’ futhi ngenxa yalokho indawo yonke ihlanganisa izingcezu ukuze ilethe kuwe.
Kungenzeka ukuthi usujwayelene nokubonakaliswa—umbono usunesikhathi eside ukhona kodwa waduma ngencwadi ka-Rhonda Byrne edayisa kakhulu ngo-2006, Imfihlo eyadayisa amakhophi angaphezu kwezigidi ezingu-30. Futhi ngokuqinisekile, kungase kuzwakale kungaphandle-lapho kodwa ukubonakaliswa kunohlu oluhle lwabalandeli, okuhlanganisa Deepak Chopra , UJim Carrey futhi Oprah . Ingabe ufuna ukwazi ngokuvezwa noma ufuna nje ukuba nombono omuhle (iziphi izimiso eziningi zomthetho ezigxile kukho)? Qhubeka ufunda ukuze uthole okwengeziwe.
I-MoMo Productions/Getty ImagesUmuntu uqala kanjani umkhuba wokuzibonakalisa?
U-Fuentes uphakamisa izinyathelo ezine ezibalulekile ukuze uqale uhambo lwakho lokubonisa:
1. Bhala uhlu lwezinto ofuna ukuziveza. Ngithanda ukukhuthaza abantu ukuthi baphuphe bebakhulu kakhulu futhi bacabange ngale ndlela abahlelelwe ngayo ukucabanga, kusho u-Fuentes. Sithonywa abazali bethu, nesikole kanye nezinto eziningi, kodwa ubungafisani uma ngabe akukho okukuthintayo?
2. Zibhalele ikusasa lakho incwadi. Zibhalele inothi ezinyangeni eziyisithupha kusukela manje, futhi wenze sengathi imigomo yakho isifezekile kakade. [Qala ngokuthi] okuthile okuseduze okufinyelelayo, mhlawumbe indawo eyodwa kwezimbili zenkawu ephambi kwakho, kusho uFuentes. Isibonelo, ukube bengihlala e-studio, futhi iphupho lami elokuhlala esithabathabeni, bengingeke ngibhale ukuthi ezinyangeni eziyisithupha ukusuka manje, ngizohlala esithabathabeni, ngoba cishe ngeke kwenzeke. ngokushesha lokho. Ngakho-ke ngingahle ngibone okuthile okungase kube lula; mhlawumbe ngifuna ukuhlala [efulethini] elinekamelo elilodwa noma amabili. Bengingabhala ngalokho engizokubona, engikuzwayo kanye nesipiliyoni uma ngabe sengikhona kakade.
3. Zindla. Leli yithuba lokuthi ubheke izinjongo zakho ngomqondo wesithombe esikhulu. Zidlalele wena [izinhloso zakho] engqondweni yakho sengathi ifilimu, kusho u-Fuentes. Yini engiyibonayo, yini engizizwayo, yini engihlangabezana nayo?
4. Izwa ukubonga. Lapho sibonga noma sithobekile, indawo yonke cishe iyasivuza ngaso sonke isikhathi, kusho uFuentes. Ukuyihlanganisa ekwenzeni kwakho kukugcina usekudlidlizeni okuphezulu ngempela, futhi uma sinokudlidliza okuphezulu, siheha izinto ezinhle ngempela empilweni yethu.
Izithombe ze-Westend61/GettyUmuntu ugxila kanjani ekuboniseni uthando?
Inqubo yokubonisa uthando ifana kakhulu naleyo echazwe ngenhla, kodwa ngama-tweaks athile ahilelekile, ngokusho kukaFuentes:
1. Bhala phansi izici zomlingani wakho omuhle. Akukho ukwahlulela uma uqaphela ukuthi ungathanda umlingani wakho wesikhathi esizayo afane naye Ikhasi likaRegé-Jean (AKA uSimon Bridgerton) .
2. Zibhalele incwadi. Kodwa khumbula ukugcina lawa manothi engenzeka. Ngamanye amazwi, ungawalobi phansi amaphupho akho omshado wenganekwane ezinyangeni eziyisithupha. Esikhundleni salokho, cabanga ngokubhala ngohlobo lokuxhumana othemba ukukugqugquzela nothile.
3. Qhubeka nokuzindla, ngaso sonke isikhathi ugxile ekutheni impilo yakho izizwa kanjani futhi ibukeka kanjani nalo phathina. Unganikeza [indlela] yokuhlangenwe nakho okwengeziwe, kusho u-Fuentes. Ingabe zikwenza uzizwe ujabule, ingabe zikwenza uhleke? Izofaka izici [zozakwenu okahle].
4. Buyela ekubongeni. Bonisa ukubonga ngokubonga indawo yonke ngokuthumela lo uzakwethu kuwe, nakuba ungakabi naye, kusho u-Fuentes. Uthembe ngempela ukuthi vele isendleleni kodwa uthi ngiyabonga ingakafiki.
Ingabe ukubonisa uthando kunzima kakhulu kunokuveza eminye imigomo?
Ngicabanga ukuthi sinezinkolelo ezizibekela imingcele mayelana nothando ngezinye izikhathi, kusho uFuentes. Ngoba kwehla kokuningi kwalokho okwakuyingane yethu, siyini isitayela sethu sokunamathisela, kungena kancane ku-psychology yezinto. Ngakho-ke, lapho abantu bezwa lezo zivimbamgwaqo, imvamisa kungenxa yokuthi kunohlobo oluthile lwenkolelo yokuzibekela umkhawulo noma ukwesaba okungaphakathi kuwe okudingeka usebenzele kukho.
Wazi kanjani uma wenza kahle?
U-Fuentes uncoma ukuthi uphinde uhlole ukuzijwayeza kwakho ukubonisa nyanga zonke, futhi uhlale ubhekile izimpawu zokuthi umsebenzi wakho usuqala ukumila. Uma into ibonakala sengathi iyenzeka ngengozi, ungayishayi, usho kanje. Kuthathe njengophawu, ngoba cishe kuhlale kunjalo!
Uphakamisa ukuthi ucabangele okulandelayo uma uzizwa ubambekile noma ukhungathekile:
- Kungenzeka ukuthi uthumela izimpawu ezixubile endaweni yonke.
- Kungase kudingeke umbe ujule. Buza ukuthi ngabe kukhona yini lapho ongathembeki khona kuwena. Ingabe kukhona [okungenzeka] okungakufuni ngempela lokho?
- Ingabe ikhona inkolelo yokuzibekela umkhawulo emi endleleni yakho?
- Ingabe ushiye okuthile; udinga ukucacisa [ngezinjongo zakho]?
- Yiziphi izinyathelo ongazithatha, uma zikhona, okungenzeka awukazenzi?
- Ingabe kukhona ukwesaba okuzayo? Umkhathi uhlale ulindele ukusivuza ngakolunye uhlangothi lokwesaba kwethu.
- Ingabe uyaziba izimpawu ezivela endaweni yonke?
Ngezinye izikhathi lapho sicabanga ukuthi sishaya indiva, empeleni kuba yimfoloko emgwaqeni futhi umkhathi usibonisa ngamabomu ukuthi sithathe le enye indlela, kusho uFuentes.
