Ngenkathi i-TikTok iyindawo okungenwa kuyo ukuthola izindlela zokupheka ezihlakaniphile, Ama-hacks we-DIY futhi amathiphu ubuhle , siphinde sabona ukuqhuma kwezingxoxo ezibucayi endaweni yesikhulumi, kusukela ebushoshovu kuya kwezempilo kanye nempilo yengqondo. iseluleko . Kodwa ngezinye izikhathi, lawo macebiso kanye nezitayela, ikakhulukazi uma kuziwa ekwakhiweni nasekugcineni ubudlelwano bothando obunempilo, akubonakali kahle, iphutha , enempilo. Sibone idlanzana lamathrendi e-uber adumile e-TikTok futhi sabuza i-neuropsychologist kanye nelungu lobuhlakani e-Columbia University, UDkt. Sanam Hafeez , ngokuthatha kwakhe uchwepheshe. Isexwayiso se-Spoiler: Bonke bacekela phansi ubudlelwano.
1. Ithrendi: Umbuzo wama-0
Kulo mkhuba we-TikTok oyi-viral, ubuza umlingani wakho umbuzo wobuqili: Ungathanda ukungiqabula ngo- 0 noma umuntu oshisa izikhotha emhlabeni ngama- 0? Yiqiniso, uma umlingani wakho ethatha i-$ 700 bait, ababukeki behloniphekile kakhulu. Kodwa iqhinga langempela uma umlingani wakho ephendula, Wena, kodwa hhayi wena ngoba ungumuntu oshisa kakhulu emhlabeni. (Buza nje lombhangqwana .)
Izindikimba ezibhidliza ubudlelwano:
- Ukungqubuzana kwamabomu okungadingekile
- Ukungazethembi okungahleliwe
- Ukuveza imizwa kumlingani wakho
Uchwepheshe uthatha: Nakuba lokhu kuthambekela kungase kubonakale kungenangozi uma kuqhathaniswa, uDkt. Hafeez ubona indaba engaba nkulu ebhibhayoza ngaphansi: Ake sithi u-Amy ubuza isoka lakhe uJack umbuzo ongenhla. Kungenzeka ukuthi u-Amy wabuza lo mbuzo ngoba ezizwa engalondekile noma engaqiniseki. Uma u-Amy ehlola uJack ngombuzo odala ukungqubuzana okungadingekile, angakwenza ngoba engabaza uthando lwakhe ngaye futhi/noma esaba ukuzenza sengozini futhi abelane ngendlela azizwa ngayo. Angase abe nomuzwa wokuthi uJack uhlale ecabanga ngabanye abantu besifazane noma acabange ukuthi akathandeki kunabanye abantu besifazane. Ngokwenza ukuhlolwa, u-Amy uzama ukuthola ukuvikeleka okwengeziwe ebuhlotsheni (ngethemba lokuthi uJack uzomnika impendulo afuna ukuyizwa), kunokuba axoxisane nokungazethembi kwakhe noma ukwesaba kwakhe noJack. Esinye isizathu sokwenza lolu hlobo lokuhlola ukuqala impi ngamabomu. U-Amy angase aqale ukulwa ngenhloso ukuze abone ukuthi angaphusha kude kangakanani uJack kuze kunqamuke ukuxhumana kwabo, uma enosuku olubi, noma ngoba eveza imizwa yakhe engemihle kuJack.
Okufanele ukwenze esikhundleni salokho: Esikhundleni sokubuza lezi zinhlobo zemibuzo, uDkt. Hafeez uyeluleka, zama ukuxoxa ngemizwa yakho, uthembeke futhi ubuze lokho okudingayo nokufunayo ebudlelwaneni. Futhi, hlola indlela ozizwa ngayo ngawe. Uma ungazethembi futhi ungazithandi, kungase kube nzima ukukholelwa ukuthi omunye umuntu angakukholelwa.
2. Ithrendi: Izivivinyo Zobuqotho
Kulo mkhuba we-TikTok, iklayenti elithintekayo lizocela inhloli ukuthi ihlole ukwethembeka, lapho inhloli empeleni ihuga okubalulekile kweklayenti ekudlaleni ngothando (noma cha) ngama-DM. Inhloli idlulisela ulwazi kuklayenti, bese iklayenti linquma ukuthi liyafuna yini ukuhlala ndawonye nalo muntu. Ungabona yonke into yenzeka lapha lapho umdali I-Chesathebrat Kulandela u-DM isoka lowesifazane elinesithombe ozishuthe sona esihle kanye nezincwadi zothando, okuholela ukuthi owesifazane asule izandla asule isoka lakhe.
Izindikimba ezibhidliza ubudlelwano:
- Ukuthembana okucekela phansi
- Icala
- Ukulawula imikhuba
Uchwepheshe uthatha: Lena akuyona indlela enempilo yokubhekana nokukhathazeka kokukopela, uDkt. Hafeez uthi iphuzu lingenalutho. Ngoba empeleni, ungazizwa kanjani uma umlingani wakho eqhuba ukuhlinzwa okuyimfihlo ngokumelene nawe? Ungaphinde ubathembe? Ubungacabanga ngabo njengabangavuthiwe? Ingabe lokhu kungaholela ekubeni nihlukane nabo? Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi umphumela uba yini, uma unomuntu othile othumela omunye wakho obalulekile, uba umuntu ongathembekile. Uma isoka/intombi yakho iphumelela esivivinyweni, kuzodingeka uphile necala lokuyihlola, futhi ulimaza ukwethenjwa kwakho kanye nempilo yakho yonke yobudlelwano, kuchaza uDkt. Hafeez. Futhi ake sithi umlingani wakho akaphasanga lesi sivivinyo, uzibeka ethubeni lokuthuthukisa izindlela ezingenampilo zokubhekana nokukhathazeka onakho ebudlelwaneni. Ungase uhlakulele umkhuba wokucupha ocingweni lwabo noma ukugebenga amaphrofayili abo ezinkundla zokuxhumana noma uphinde wenze lolu hlobo lokuhlola (kubo noma komunye umuntu).
Okufanele ukwenze esikhundleni salokho: Uthi uDkt. Hafeez, Ukuxhumana ngokwethembeka kuyindlela engcono kakhulu yokusingatha izinsolo zakho mayelana nokukopela. Okokuqala, thola ukuthi kungani ungase uzizwe sengathi bayakopela. Bese, bhala phansi imicabango yakho, imizwa kanye namafulege abomvu ukuze nini wena bhekana nomlingani wakho ucacelwe ukuthi uzizwa kanjani. Qiniseka ukuthi nobabili nisendaweni lapho nizizwa nikhululekile futhi niphephile. Okokugcina, lalelani futhi nizwena ngempela.
3. Isitayela: Ukubanjwa Ukukopela
Ngokwandayo, abantu basebenzisa i-TikTok (nezinye izinkundla zokuxhumana) ukubeka izigebengu zokukopela ekuqhumeni kokungaqondisisi okwedlule ngezindlela ezinkulu nezincane. Ku le vidiyo eshaya ngokushesha , umdali Sydneykinsch uxoxa ngendlela athola ngayo isoka lakhe leminyaka emine lalimkhohlisa ngemva kokuba lithumele isithombe ozishuthe sona futhi wasondeza izibuko zelanga ukuze abone omunye wesifazane. Amanye amavidiyo abanjwe-ukukopela laphaya angalulaza ngamabomu nakakhulu, njengokuthi Lena , lapho iqembu labangane elidlala i-Never Have I Ever kukhamera ngokumangala-lihlasela umngane oyedwa okuthiwa uqabule isoka lenye intombazane.
Izindikimba ezibhidliza ubudlelwano:
- Amahloni
- Impindiselo
Uchwepheshe uthatha: Kunezisusa eziningi ezibangela isifiso sokuhlazisa umkhohlisi esidlangalaleni, kusho uDkt. Hafeez—ungase ube nomuzwa wokuthi ufanelwe isijeziso, noma ufisa ukuzizwa uphakeme noma unamandla okulawula noma ukuveza ukuthi awukuvumeli ukuziphatha kwakhe. Kodwa, kuxwayisa uDkt. Hafeez, ukuhlazisa umuntu esidlangalaleni kunemiphumela elimazayo yesikhathi eside kokubili amaqembu. Ukuhlazeka akulungile ngoba kwenza abantu bazizwe kabi ngabo futhi bangabaze ukubaluleka kwabo, futhi ngokuvamile akuzuzi ushintsho noma kuqede ukuziphatha okuthile komuntu ohlazekayo.
Okufanele ukwenze esikhundleni salokho: Kulabo abalwa nokuqolwa, okokuqala khumbula ukuthi bekungelona iphutha lakho. Amanye amathiphu okubhekana nesimo ahlanganisa ukuzizungezile nalabo abakuthandayo ukuze uthole ukwesekwa ngokomzwelo, ukuzijwayeza ukuzinakekela, ukucela usizo nokufinyelela kumelaphi noma uchwepheshe wezempilo yengqondo ukuze uxoxe ngemizwa yakho, uyala uDkt. Hafeez. Kungase kuthathe isikhathi eside ukuphulukisa kunalokho obukulindele, futhi lokho kulungile.
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