Ngahlangana nomngane wami omkhulu ngemva nje kwekolishi, futhi besilokhu singahlukani ngokuphelele kusukela ngaleso sikhathi. Phakathi nobungane bethu beminyaka eyishumi, asikaze singashadile ngesikhathi esifanayo—kuze kube manje, okungenzeka ukuthi yini engenze ngabona ukuthi ngithandana naye. Ngabe kusekuncane ukumtshela lokhu (usanda kuhlukana nentombi yakhe ezinyangeni ezimbili ezedlule)? Futhi ingabe ngiyisiphukuphuku ukubeka ubungane engozini, ngicabanga ukuthi kungaba ngaphezulu?
Ngeke ngikhathazeke kakhulu mayelana nesikhathi lapha njengoba, njengoba uphawula, kufanele ushaye ngenkathi insimbi ishisa futhi ingashadile. Kodwa ngaphambi kokufaka ubungane benu engozini, ngicabanga ukuthi kufanele ume kancane. Phela lobu budlelwano bube yinsika empilweni yakho iminyaka eyishumi egcwele, futhi ukuzama ukwenza okunye kungaphonsa yonke into onayo, inyakazise i-pendulum yamandla futhi imenze azibuze ukuthi ubudlelwano bube bungakanani. yakhelwe phezu kobungani beqiniso ngokumelene nesifiso esingafanele.
Ukwenza lokhu kukhetha, ngifuna uzibuze imibuzo emibili emikhulu.
Wake wakubonisa isithakazelo sothando?
Uthi isikhathi besilokhu sikunya, futhi anikaze nibe sendaweni yokuthandana. Kodwa abantu banamehlo, futhi ungakwazi ukuzwa i-vibe ethile ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Ingabe ukhulume izinto ezilula ukukhombisa ukuthi ucabanga ngakho? Cabanga: Gosh, Kate, noma ubani angaba nenhlanhla yokuba nawe; kungani ujola namadoda afana noJerry? Noma: umuhle! Angazi ukuthi kungani ukhathazeka ngokuthi izinwele zakho zibukeka kanjani kumswakama. Uyazi, ukudlulisa amazwana, nombhalo ongezansi. Noma ingabe zikhona izikhathi lapho washiya isandla sakhe eside kakhulu emhlane wakho, noma wena nje wezwa sengathi ubefuna ukukuqabula?
Uma impendulo yakho ingucha, akusho ukuthi akakuboni ngokothando. Kodwa, uma kunguyebo, kungase kukunikeze isiqondiso esicacile, futhi ungaqhubekela embuzweni wesibili.
Ngingakubeka kanjani lokhu ngendlela engokwemvelo, evamile?
Kubalulekile ukuthi udlulise Kanjani imizwa yakho yathuthuka, hhayi nje ukuthi ikhona. Ubuhlobo bothando obukhula ngokuqondile ebuhlotsheni obujulile, obuhloniphayo, obujabulisayo nobusekelayo buyinto enhle ngempela. Kodwa futhi, kufanele uchaze ukuthi kanjani futhi kungani uze kulesi siphetho. Ngokwesibonelo: Ngemva kobuhlobo bami noJerry, ngabona indlela engangisekela ngayo wena wayesedlule kukho konke.
Angase abe nokusabela okusheshayo, noma angeke, kodwa angayidingi impendulo esheshayo; kungase kuthathe amasonto noma izinyanga ukuba athole ukuthi uzizwa kanjani. Mnikeze isikhathi sokucabangela ubuhlobo obusha obungase bube, obakhelwe phezu kokusondelana okujulile nobungane. Ngokungafani nesipoki nokudlala umdlalo ozokuthola ekuqomeni kwesimanje, abangani abakhulu badinga izimpendulo kanye nesibopho komunye nomunye.
Futhi uma yena kwenza buyisela uthando lwakho ngokushesha, kuhle lokho, kodwa ungenzele umusa futhi ngiyacela, ngicela ungalali ndawonye STAT, funa yena (noma wena) angashintsha inhliziyo. (Uke uzame ukubuyela ebunganini ngemva kocansi? Akulula.)
Noma kunjalo, uma izimpawu zikhona, futhi uveza lokhu ngendlela efanele-kusuka endaweni yokuzethemba nobubele-ngithanda amathuba akho. Phela, bengilokhu ngikholelwa kakhulu ukuthi ubudlelwano obuhle bukhula busuka ebunganeni.
UJenna Birch ungumbhali we Igebe Lothando: Uhlelo Oluqinile Lokunqoba Empilweni Nasothandweni , umhlahlandlela wokuqomisana nokwakha ubudlelwano wabesifazane besimanje. Ukumbuza umbuzo, angawuphendula kukholamu ezayo kaPampereDpeopleny, mthumele i-imeyili kokuthi jen.birch@sbcglobal.net .
OKUhlobene: Angikwazi Ukuma Umngane Womyeni Wami. Ngingamcela Ukunqamula Izibopho?
