Ngisanda kuhlangana nesoka elisha—futhi liwumdlalo ongcono kakhulu kwengake ngaba naye. Sesivele njengabangani abakhulu. Sibonakala sicabanga imicabango efanayo, futhi sihambisana ngokuphelele namagugu; sihleka njalo. Ngijabule kakhulu ngokuthi ngimtholile. Kodwa muva nje siqale ukwenza ucansi, futhi...Hhayi-ke, lesi yisiqalo esibi kakhulu sobudlelwano bocansi engake ngaba nabo. Akabonakali ethatha izimpawu zami embhedeni. Akalungile ekukhulumeni, okubaluleke kakhulu kimina. Futhi nginomuzwa wokuthi isifiso sami sokusondelana siyaphela. Nakuba kungumuntu engimbona ehlala naye kuze kube phakade, ngizizwa ngilahliwe ngokocansi. Singangena kanjani ekhasini elifanayo lapha? Noma ingabe lokhu kuzohluleka, ngoba asihambisani ngokocansi?
Enye yezingcezu engizikhonzile zesayensi yobudlelwano eminyakeni embalwa edlule idonsela kulesi sihloko. Ngokwalolu cwaningo, Abacwaningi baseToronto banqume abantu bawela emakamu amabili. Iqembu elilodwa lalinezinkolelo zesiphetho socansi, okusho ukuthi ukuba nekhemistri ephakathi kwamashidi khona manjalo kwakuwuphawu lokuhambisana okumangalisayo kobudlelwane. Elinye iqembu lalinezinkolelo zokukhula kwezocansi, ngoba lalikholelwa ukuthi ubulili obuhle kwakuwulimi oluthuthukisiwe phakathi kwabalingani. Aka, kuthatha umsebenzi othile.
Labo abanezinkolelo zokukhula kwezocansi, ababekholelwa ukuthi i-chemistry enhle izuzwe ngokukhulumisana nokusebenza, bavame ukuba nobudlelwane obungcono nokuphila kocansi okushisayo.
Isifundo yilesi: Ucansi olushisayo alukona nje ukwazi ngokushesha ukuthi yini eyenza umlingani wakho ahlukane. Ucansi olukhulu lumayelana nokuba nengqondo evulekile, ukulalela impendulo kanye nokufuna ukuzwana kakhulu nezifiso zocansi zomlingani wakho.
Ukubheja kwami ukuthi isoka lakho elimangalisayo lingathanda ukukhula nawe futhi likwenze ujabule futhi ujabule kakhulu ngempilo yakho yocansi. Nakhu ongakwenza ukuze umqondise kulokho... ngobumnene.
Iseluleko ngaphakathi ekamelweni.
Abantu abaningi, abesifazane ikakhulukazi (abafundiswa ukungahloniphi ngocansi), abacaci kahle ukuthi bafunani embhedeni—ngisho noma ucabanga ukuthi awugwegwesi. Khuluma kakhulu, ukhulume kakhulu ngalokho okuthandayo, futhi ungaqinisi lokho ongakwenzi—lokho kusho ukuthi ungalokothi, UNGALOKOTHI wenze i-orgasm yakho. Kungase kubonakale kuyinto efanele ukuyenza okwamanje, kodwa ngihlangane nabesifazane abaye bangena emjikelezweni wesikhathi eside wokuqamba amanga, ukuqamba amanga nokukhungatheka ngokocansi. Thembeka lapho eshaya wonke amanothi alungile.
Uma engekho, ungathuki. Kunalokho, khululeka—vala amehlo akho, ngisho—futhi ulawule lesi sitimela se-choo choo. Hambisa izandla zakhe lapho ungathanda ukuba zibe khona. Ngesikhathi somlomo, yenza iziphakamiso mayelana nesivinini, ingcindezi, ukuthinta. Uyazi ukuthi yini eyakusebenzela esikhathini esedlule, akunjalo? Phakamisa isifo sohlangothi. Ngithanda uma uhamba kancane futhi ingcindezi iqinile. Yiba ngqo. Uma ethatha isiqondiso sakho mathupha, cishe yisikhathi sokuhambisa le ngxoxo ngaphandle kwekamelo lokulala.
Iseluleko ngaphandle kwekamelo lokulala.
Kubalulekile ukuthi abalingani baxoxe ngempilo yabo yocansi ngaphandle kwekamelo lokulala. Wonke umuntu wenza kangcono uma enempendulo ecacile, eqondile—kodwa phakathi noma ngemva nje kocansi isikhathi esisengozini. Kungcono nje ukuthi ungasho noma yini engahle iqondwe kabi njengoba ngingekho kuyo, ngenkathi unqunu. Ngakho-ke, gcina impendulo eqondile yesikhashana esithulile ngesikhathi sokudla kwakusihlwa ekhaya (noma into enjalo).
Lapho isikhathi sesilungile, yenze. Vele uthi, S'thandwa, ngingathanda ukwengeza amazwi amaningi ngokuzayo uma siya ocansini. Singazama ukucindezela kolimi okwengeziwe/okuncane kanye nokushaywa okufushane ngokuzayo? Noma nini lapho wenza lokho, kungishayela amantongomane. Noma uma ucabanga ukuthi udinga ukudlalwa kwangaphambili okwengeziwe, yithi, Ngokuzayo uma siya ocansini, ngibheja ukuthi ngizophuma ngokushesha okukhulu uma sikhulisa i-foreplay. Asidlale nxazonke; ngimangale. Futhi, ungakhohlwa ukubuza, Yini ofuna ngenze okwengeziwe ngayo? Ngifuna ukwenza lokho kanye. Bese uyacwayiza, noma umomotheka ngesihlathi. Lokhu kufanele kube mnandi.
Ukukhuluma ngocansi kungaba yisandulela esijabulisayo sesivumelwano sangempela. Zama ukungagcizeleli mayelana neqiniso lokuthi awukawafezi amasu akho okwamanje; lokho obhekene nakho kujwayelekile ngokuphelele. Impilo enhle yocansi imane nje imayelana nogqozi lokubeka umsebenzi kukho. Ngakho...zibophezele ekufakeni lowo msebenzi kukho.
UJenna Birch ungumbhali we Igebe Lothando: Uhlelo Oluqinile Lokunqoba Empilweni Nasothandweni , umhlahlandlela wokuqomisana nokwakha ubudlelwano wabesifazane besimanje. Ukumbuza umbuzo, angawuphendula kukholamu ezayo kaPampereDpeopleny, mthumele i-imeyili kokuthi jen.birch@sbcglobal.net .
