Kungani Ngingakwazi Ukuyeka Ukucabanga Ngekhishi likaNatalie Portman?

Amagama Amahle Kakhulu Ezingane

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Ividiyo yokupheka kosaziwayo: Ekuqaleni angizange ngihlanganyele—kungani ngidinga ukubuka u-Kylie Jenner enza ama-shrimp taco ekhishini likabhiliyoni wakhe? Futhi ngokuqinisekile, ngiyamthanda uChrissy Teigen, kodwa yena ukupheka amavidiyo wabe eboshelwe ngendlela engenakuhlukaniswa entweni ayeyithengisa...eyayikhipha ubumnandi kuyo. Kodwa kancane, ngaqala ukucwilisa uzwane lwami ohlotsheni oluhlukile lwevidiyo yokupheka kosaziwayo, uhlobo lapho nje kusaziwayo esimaziyo futhi esikuthandayo ukupheka ekhishini labo...ngenxa yalokho okubonakala kungenasizathu nhlobo.

Buka lokhu okuthunyelwe ku-Instagram

Okuthunyelwe okwabiwe ngu-Natalie Portman (@natalieportman) ngo-Feb 26, 2020 ngo-10:33am PST

Kwaqala kuqala ngoJessica Seinfeld amavidiyo ahlelwe ngendlela eyinqaba , okungachazwa kuphela njengesithombe esihlekisayo se-ASMR- nomsindo-scape, bese kukhithike kahle Amavidiyo okupheka ayinqaba ngokumangalisayo ka-Jennifer Garner ezikhona cishe nje ukufakazela ukuthi uvuka ekuseni kangakanani. Ngisho, impela, cishe bonke bathengisa incwadi noma bakha umbuso wendlela yokuphila ezansi komugqa, kodwa ngithanda ukuthi lezi okungenani zibonakala zingenazo iziteki futhi azikho inani lokukhiqiza elingaphezu komsizi ozimisele.

Ingabe ngiwabuka lawa mavidiyo ukuze ngithole izindlela zokupheka? Cha. Ngibheke ukuthi ngilunguze ezimpilweni zama-A-listers. Iluphi uhlobo lwebhotela lamantongomane abalusebenzisayo? Isikhumba sabo esingena-makeup sibukeka kanjani ngo-5 a.m.? Mangaki amakati abanawo? Bazigcina kanjani iziqandisi zabo? Ingabe leso isitofu sika-,000 engisibonayo? Bamemeza kanjani izingane zabo kwelinye igumbi? Amavidyo osaziwayo okupheka ngokuyisisekelo ayiwo womathathu enjabulo yami enecala engiyintandokazi ehlanganiswe ndawonye: izimanga zenhlebo, okuqukethwe kokudla kanye ne-porn yezindlu.

Okungiletha kuNatalie Portman. U-Natalie UYISIKHATHI SAMA-MOVIE anosonhlamvukazi M. Sazi okuningi ngaye—unethalente, inyama edla inyama, muhle, uhlakaniphile, unothando—kodwa nokho, akazi lutho. Uprofesa wefilosofi ekolishi wake wachaza uNatalie Portman njengobuhle be-Kantian. Namanje angazi ngempela ukuthi kusho ukuthini lokho, kodwa njengokuthi, uqala kanjani ukusondela kulokho? Ngenxa yalezi zizathu, ngathuka kakhulu lapho ngibona ukuthi u-Natalie eqala ukukhulula amavidyo akhe osaziwayo okupheka. Uma ucabangela le nkanyezi yajoyina i-Instagram ngoJanuwari 2018 futhi ikakhulukazi ukuze ikhulume ngezizathu ezifanele akholelwa kuzo, kwakumangaza ukubona u-Natalie, unkulunkulukazi ondiza ngaphezu komhlaba esihamba kuwo, efika ekhaya ekhishini lakhe enza ama-latkes. . Efakwe phakathi kwezithombe ezimemezela imboni yezokuzijabulisa nge-#TimesUp, ukuhlukana komndeni, ukudla okusekelwe ezitshalweni nezinye zezinto zakhe zokuphromotha, lawa mavidiyo abonakala engafaneleki. Kodwa angikwazanga ukuqonda ngokugcwele ukuthi kungani ... ngase ngiqaphela ngokuzumayo: ikhishi.

Esikhathini samapinki ezinkulungwane zeminyaka, abazali bezitshalo kanye nakho konke okunomqondo ovulekile, leli khishi liyamangaza impela. Ukhuni olumnyama lumboza indawo kusukela phansi kuya ophahleni—ngisho nesiqandisi sinamapulangwe. Ingabe u-Natalie Portman oshisayo upheka ekhishini elingase libe nge-Titanic yoqobo?

Kodwa kunokuningi okwenzekayo ngale kobuhle, akunjalo? Lapha, umzamo wami wokuwudiliza.

Ibhodi Lebhodi

Kulungile, ngizoluma: Kwenzenjani ngalelo bhodi? Kuphezulu kakhulu ukuthi izingane zakhe ezincane zingasebenzisa, futhi ngicabanga ukuthi unomuntu ozomtshela zonke izikhumbuzo ezibalulekile azidingayo, ngakho-ke ngaleyo ndlela, ibhodi lebhodi elikhulu neliphakeme lizwakala njengokugoba okukhulu. kubo bonke labo bantu abanamabhodi enhlangano amancane kakhulu futhi abekho abasizi abazobatshela ukuthi benze okuthile nini.

I-Ominous Hallway to Nowhere

Ngebhola lokukhanya elimangalisayo elingu-Natalie Portman, kulula ukugeja kwalasha oshaqisayo ohlangothini lwesobunxele lwesibukeli lohlaka. Ngingazibuza ukuthi yini engase ibe ngale kohlaka lomnyango uma bekungekho sobala kangako ukuthi isikhathi sasemkhathini sigwinywa emgodini omnyama ovele wavela kulokho okungaba yigumbi lokuhlala likaNatalie.

I-ATM

Iyini leyo divayisi eyakhiwe ngamathayili e-pistachio? Okunye ukuqagela okuvela ehhovisi kufaka phakathi: i-ATM, umenzi weqhwa, idokodo lezithombe? Futhi ingabe lokhu kusho ukuthi kunamathayela amaningi e-pistachio asetshenziswa ngakolunye uhlangothi lwekhamera? Noma besazi ukuthi yini le nto, iphakamisa imibuzo eminingi kunezimpendulo.

Ukubukeka Okune, Ibhodi Elilodwa

U-Natalie uthumele iresiphi yakhe yokuqala esekelwe esitshalweni ngoSepthemba 15, 2019. Bekuyi-a isithombe neresiphi kumagama-ncazo. Ibhodi lebhodi laline-doodle yamadada kulo. NgoNovemba 26, 2019, yena uthumele i-GIF ukwenza amakhekhe e-Thanksgiving asekelwe esitshalweni. Ibhodi lebhodi lalimbozwe ngamaflaya nezimemo.

Ngomhla zingama-21 kuZibandlela wezi-2019, nokho, u-Natalie uyakwandisa. Uyathumela ividiyo yakhe yokuqala ehleliwe yokupheka lapho enza khona ama-latkes e-Hanukkah. Ugqoke ijezi elivinjwe umbala elinemikhono eluhlaza. Ibhodi lebhodi linomdwebo wenja, inqwaba yama-doodle alula, ikhalenda likaDisemba, uzibuthe obomvu nokunye.

Amavidiyo okupheka athumela kuwo Januwari 5, 2020 (brown turtleneck/amapanikuku ama-s’mores), Januwari 29 (ibhulakufesi elimnyama elimnyama/ibhulakufesi lendabuko lakwa-Israel), February 26 (Isikibha se-LADP/ukholifulawa ogazingiwe) zonke zinebhodi lebhodi ELIFANAYO KANYE—umdwebo wenja, inqwaba yama-doodle alula, ikhalenda kaDisemba, unozibuthe obomvu. Ngisho, ikhalenda likaDisemba lingene kuFebhuwari? Angimazi uNatalie, kodwa uNatalie engangimcabanga ekhanda lami ngeke neze!

Lokhu kungasho ukuthi uNatalie wadubula laba ngokuzumayo. Lawa mavidiyo akuyona into ethi 'hey, ngenzela lokhu isidlo sakusihlwa, asiqophe,'. Bayingxenye yesu lakhe lokukhuluma ngokudla okusekelwe ezitshalweni, futhi nakuba kungekho lutho olungalungile ngalokho, ngikhululekile ukuthi ngokubuka ngokweqile, ekugcineni ngibeke umunwe wami ekutheni yini eyenza lawa mavidiyo angabi khona mina. Ngokungafani no-Jennifer Garner noma u-Jessica Seinfeld, u-Natalie akazami ukusenza sithandeke ngakho konke 'Ngingusaziwayo oyisigidi, kodwa bheka ukuthi ngingumuntu onjani futhi ojwayelekile kangakanani!' Uhlakaniphile, uyikhamera (obvi) futhi uyazi ukuthi abantu babukela lolu hlobo lwento, ngakho-ke uma kungasiza ukuhambisa inaliti ukuthi abantu bayeke ukudla izilwane, kungani kungenjalo?

Nakuba lingachazi ikhishi, lisikhanyisela kancane ngemfihlakalo yakho konke—mhlawumbe akulona nhlobo ikhishi likaNatalie. Mhlawumbe isethi. Kwazi bani? Ngeke ngikuxazulule lokhu ngoba uNatalie akafuni sikwenze. Yini afuna ukuyenza? Qala ukudla okusekelwe esitshalweni. Isikhathi sokubhaka ukholifulawa ukuze sidle.

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