Inkulumo yangempela: Umhlaba uluhlobo lwesiphithiphithi njengamanje. Futhi eminye yemizabalazo esibhekene nayo ibonakala inkulu kangangokuthi kulula ukuzizwa uphansi mayelana nesimo samanje. Kodwa qiniseka—kunezinto ongazenza ukuze usize labo abaseduze nawe. Ungakwazi sayina izicelo . Unganikela ngemali . Ungakwazi ukuzilolongaukuziqhelelanisa nomphakathiukugcina abantu abasengozini bephephile. Futhi singanikeza esinye isiphakamiso? Ungaba nomusa.
Ngaso sonke isikhathi lapho wenzela abanye into enhle—ngaphandle kokulindela ukubuyisela okuthile—wenza umhlaba ube ngcono kakhulu. Ingabe sithi ukubeka ushintsho kumitha yokupaka yomunye umuntu kuzoxazulula izinkinga zomhlaba? Ngokusobala akunjalo. Kodwa kuzokwenza usuku lomuntu lukhanye kancane. Futhi nansi into ehlekisayo mayelana nomusa: Kuyathathelana. Lowo muntu angase avele ayikhokhe futhi enze okuthile okucabangelayo noma ukusiza omunye umuntu, ongase enze okufanayo nokunye nokunye. (Futhi, ukungabi namusa kuphambene nokusiza, yebo?)
Nali elinye iqiniso elimnandi ngokuba nomusa kwabanye. Akubazuzisi nje kuphela—kuzokwenzela nezinto ezinhle. Abantu abaningi emhlabeni wonke bafuna ukujabula kakhudlwana, kusho uDkt. Sonja Lyubomirsky , University of California Riverside Professor of Psychology kanye nomlobi we The Myths of Happiness. Futhi enye yezindlela ezinamandla kakhulu [zokwenza lokho] empeleni ukwenza omunye umuntu ajabule ngokuba nomusa nokuphana kuye.
Nazi izindlela ezintathu ongazizuzisa ngazo ukuba nomusa kwabanye, ngokusho kukaLyubomirsky. Okokuqala kungakwenza ujabule. Ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi ukuba nomusa kwabanye kungakwenza uzizwe ulungile futhi kusiza ukuqinisa ubuhlobo bakho. Akukacaci kahle ukuthi kungani lokhu, kodwa abacwaningi basola ukuthi ukuphana kunikeza abantu umuzwa wokwenza okuthile okubalulekile. Lokhu kuthuthukisa isimo sabo sengqondo. Okwesibili, ukwenza umusa kungavula futhi kucime ufuzo lwakho. Ucwaningo lwakamuva iphakamisa ukuthi lokhu kungaxhunyaniswa namasosha omzimba anamandla. Futhi, okwesithathu, uma kwenzeka udinga ukukholisa okwengeziwe ukuze ube muhle kubantu, izenzo zomusa empeleni zingakwenza udume kakhulu. Ucwaningo lwezingane ezineminyaka engu-9 kuya ku-11 yabonisa ukuthi izenzo ezilula zokupha zazibenza bathandwe kangcono abafunda nabo.
Ngakho uma ufuna ukujabula kakhudlwana, ube nempilo enhle futhi uthandwe kangcono, yenza isenzo esihle komunye umuntu. Sawubona, ungayithathi kithi-ithathe kuMnu. Rogers. Ngokwamazwi omethuli wohlelo lwezingane oyisithombe: Kunezindlela ezintathu zokuphumelela ekugcineni: Indlela yokuqala ukuba nomusa. Indlela yesibili iwukuba nomusa. Indlela yesithathu iwukuba nomusa. Ngakho uma sicabanga ngalawo mazwi okuhlakanipha, nazi izindlela ezingu-25 zokuba nomusa.
1. Yiba nomusa kuwe
Ima, ingabe yonke inhloso yalolu hlu ayikona ukufunda ukuthi ungaba nomusa kwabanye? Sizwe. Umsuka wokuziphatha kwabantu okuningi, izimpendulo zemizwa kanye nezimo kungaphakathi nangaphakathi kwengqondo yethu yomuntu siqu, kusho uDkt. Dean Aslinia, Ph.D., LPC-S, NCC. Ngakho-ke akumangalisi ukuthi uma sifuna ukuba nomusa ngokwengeziwe kwabanye kufanele siqale ngathi ngokwethu kuqala, uyenezela. Eminyakeni engaphezu kweshumi yokwelulekwa komtholampilo, ngabona amaklayenti ami amaningi okokuqala futhi engenamusa kuwo ngokwawo. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi lokho kwaqala ngokuthi bangaziniki imvume yokuba nemicabango noma imizwa ethile, ukuze bazishaye ngenxa yokuthi bahluleke kanjani umngane noma othandekayo. Lokhu kungase kubangele imizwa yecala njalo, ihlazo, nokuzenyeza. Ukuze ube nomusa kakhulu kwabanye udinga ukuqala ukuba nomusa kuwena. Ukutholile lokho?
2. Khokha umuntu othile
Khumbula ukuthi ngesikhathi uhamba emgwaqweni othile wakutshela ukuthi uyayithanda ingubo yakho? Ubusefwini lesishiyagalolunye intambama yonke. Ukuncoma umuntu ngokuvamile kuwumzamo ophansi kakhulu egameni lakho kodwa inzuzo inkulu. Eqinisweni, ucwaningo luye lwabonisa ngokuqhubekayo ukuthi ukuncoma kungathinta kanjani ukuphila kwethu. USolwazi uNick Haslam waseNyuvesi yaseMelbourne utshele i-HuffPost Australia , Ukuncoma kungaphakamisa imizwa, kuthuthukise ukusebenzelana nemisebenzi, kuthuthukise ukufunda futhi kwandise ukuphikelela. Waqhubeka echaza, Ukuncoma ngokungangabazeki kungcono kunokwamukela, njengoba nje ukunikeza izipho noma ukunikela ekusizeni kunezinzuzo kulowo ophayo. Kodwa nakhu okubambekayo: Ukuncoma kufanele kube okwangempela. Ukuncoma okungelona iqiniso kungenzeka kube nomthelela ophambene njengezangempela. Abantu abazamukelayo bazozizwa bengaqondile futhi abanazinhloso ezinhle, futhi lokho kubukela phansi noma yimiphi imiphumela emihle abangase babe nayo ngokunconywa,' kusho u-Haslam.
3. Nikeza imali entweni oyikhathalelayo
Ucwaningo lwango-2008 nguprofesa wase-Harvard Business School uMichael Norton kanye nozakwabo bathola ukuthi ukunika omunye umuntu imali kuphakamisa injabulo yabahlanganyeli ngaphezu kokuchitha imali bebodwa. Lokhu kwenzeka naphezu kwezibikezelo zabantu zokuthi ukuchitha bona ngokwabo kuzobenza bajabule. Ngakho-ke cabanga ngesizathu esiseduze nenhliziyo yakho, yenza ucwaningo ukuze uthole inhlangano ehloniphekile (isevisi efana umhloli wosizo ingasiza ngalokho) futhi usethe umnikelo ophindelelayo uma ukwazi. Udinga imibono? Nikela kwenye yalezi zinhlangano eziyi-12 ezisekela imiphakathi yabaNsundu futhi ziqhubekisela phambili inhlangano ye-Black Lives Matter. Noma unganikeza enye yalezi izinhlangano eziyisishiyagalolunye ezeseka abesifazane abamnyama noma unikele ngokudla kumsebenzi wezempilo ophambili .
4. Nikeza isikhathi entweni oyikhathalelayo
Imali akuyona ukuphela kwendlela yokusiza abaswele. Izinhlangano eziningi nezinhlangano ezisiza umphakathi zidinga amavolontiya ukusiza ukusabalalisa izwi nokufinyelela izinhloso zabo. Bashayele ucingo ubuze ukuthi ungasiza kanjani.
5. Qoqa udoti ngaphandle komgwaqo uma uwubona
Awuzondi udoti nje? Hhayi-ke, esikhundleni sokunikina ikhanda kulelo bhodlela lamanzi epaki, lithathe bese ulifaka emgqonyeni wokugaywa kabusha. Okufanayo kuya ezintweni ezishiywe ogwini lolwandle—ngisho noma ungekho umgqomo kadoti eduze, thatha leyo nkunkuma futhi uyilahle uma ukwazi. Umama Wendalo uzokubonga.
6. Bahleke
Awuzwanga? Ukuhleka kuhle emphefumulweni. Kodwa ngokungathí sina: Ukuhleka kubangela ukukhululwa kwama-endorphin, amakhemikhali angokwemvelo omzimba azizwa ejabule. Ngakho-ke noma usocingweni nomngane wakho womshado noma uzama ukwakha isigqoko se-IKEA nge-S.O. yakho, bona ukuthi ungakwazi yini ukubenza bamoyizele. Kodwa ungathukutheli uma ungenawo amahlaya ahlekisayo emkhonweni wakho. Ngisho nokubuka isiqeshana esihlekisayo ( lena yi-classic ) ingathuthukisa imizwa yabo futhi iqede nobuhlungu, ngokwalolu cwaningo lweNyuvesi yase-Oxford .
7. Nikeza ithiphu elikhulu kakhulu
Sinomqondo wokuthi ngaphandle kokuthi isevisi ishaqisa ngokuphelele, kufanele uhlale unikeza izeluleko ngokukhululekile. Kepha ikakhulukazi manje lapho izisebenzi eziningi zemboni yezinsizakalo ziphambili kubhubhane lwe-coronavirus, kufanele ngabe ukhulisa umnikelo wakho. Bonisa abantu abasezimbonini ezibhekene nabathengi (njengomuntu oletha ukudla noma umshayeli wakho we-Uber) ukuthi uyakwazisa konke abakwenzayo ngokuthipha ngamaphesenti angu-5 ngaphezu kwalokho ojwayele ukukwenza uma ukwazi ukukukhokhela.
8. Bulala ulaka lomgwaqo
Maningi amathuba okuba nomusa kubantu emgwaqeni. Nansi eminye imibono: Khokha i-toll yomshayeli ongemuva kwakho, faka ushintshi imitha yokupaka yomunye umuntu uma ubona ukuthi isikhathi sakhe sesizophelelwa yisikhathi noma uvumele abantu bahlangane ngaphambi kwakho (ngisho noma ubukhona kuqala).
9. Thumela othile isixha esikhulu sokumangala sezimbali
Hhayi ngoba kuwusuku lwabo lokuzalwa noma ngoba isenzakalo esikhethekile. Thumela umngane wakho omkhulu, umama wakho noma umakhelwane wakho izimbali ezinhle ngenxa nje yokuthi.Woza, ongeke akujabulele ukwamukela lezi zimbali eziphuzi ezikhanyayo?
10. Shayela noma vakashela ilungu lomndeni elikhulile
Ugogo wakho uyakukhumbula-thatha ucingo umshayele ucingo. Bese umcela ukuthi akuxoxele indaba yesikhathi sakhe esidlule—kungenzeka ukuthi akaphilanga phakathi nobhubhane lomhlaba wonke, kodwa sizimisele ukubheja ukuthi unezifundo ezithile angazifundisa ukuqina. Noma uma imihlahlandlela yokuqhelelana nomphakathi izokuvumela (awuthi, uma ungabona u-anti wakho ngefasitela), shwibeka ukuze umvakashele.
11. Hamba emicabangweni emibi nakubantu ababi
Kunzima ukuba muhle uma uthukuthele, ucasukile noma ucasukile. Ngakho nali ithiphu elivela kusazi sokusebenza kwengqondo UDkt. UMat Grzesiak : Suka ebubini. Ungakwazi ukubamba eyakho imicabango engemihle futhi uphendule eyakho ukunaka kwenye indawo, uthi. Ngezinye izikhathi kungcono kakhulu ukuzikhipha ngokomzimba esimweni-shiya igumbi, uhambe. Ngezinye izikhathi ukwehlukana kuyisihluthulelo sokuba nomgomo kanye nokuzola.
12. Bhakela umakhelwane ukudla okumnandi
Awudingi amakhono e-Ina Garten ukuze ushaye into emnandi. Kusukela kuma-muffin kabhanana kuya kukhekhe leshidi likashokoledi, lezi zokupheka zokubhaka ezilula zabaqalayo uqinisekile ukuthi uzoba hit.
13. Yiba muhle endaweni ezungezile
Hey, iplanethi idinga umusa futhi. Nazi ezinye izindlela ongasiza ngazo imvelo, kusukela namuhla. Qala ukuthwala ibhodlela lamanzi eligcwalisekayo . Khetha ubuhle obuqhubekayo nemfashini. Qala umquba. Khetha imikhiqizo yasekhaya evumelana nemvelo . Nikela, sebenzisa kabusha noma upcycle esikhundleni sokuphonsa kudoti. Nansi eminye imibono izindlela zokusiza iplanethi.
14. Sekela amabhizinisi endawo
Ikakhulukazi kulezi zikhathi ze-COVID-19, amabhizinisi amancane adonsa kanzima. Thenga ku-inthanethi, thatha izinto eziseceleni noma uthenge isitifiketi sesipho ezindaweni eziyizintandokazi zakho zasendaweni. Okungcono nakakhulu, thola amabhizinisi aphethwe ngabaNsundu endaweni yakini ukuze uwasekele.
15. Thenga ikhofi umuntu osemva kwakho
Futhi ukwenze kungaziwa. (Amaphuzu ebhonasi uma ivela ebhizinisini lendawo—bona iphuzu langaphambili.)
16. Nikela ngegazi
I-American Red Cross okwamanje ibhekene nokuntuleka kwegazi. Ungenza i-aphoyintimenti iwebhusayithi yabo .
17. Lalelisisa
Abantu bangakutshela kalula ukuthi kusho ukuthini ukuba isilaleli esibi, intatheli uKate Murphy usitshela. Izinto ezinjengokuphazamisa, ukubheka ifoni yakho, izinto ezingahlangani, lolo hlobo lwento. Ukuze ube isilaleli esingcono futhi uqiniseke ukuthi umuntu okhuluma naye uzizwa ngempela yezwa , utusa ukuba uzibuze imibuzo emibili ngemva kwengxoxo ngayinye: Yini engiyifundile ngalowo muntu? futhi Wazizwa kanjani lowo muntu ngalokho esasikhuluma ngakho? Uma ukwazi ukuphendula leyo mibuzo, uthi ngokwencazelo, uyisilaleli esihle.
18. Thethelela abanye
Ukuthethelela kubalulekile ukuze ube umuntu onomusa, kusho uDkt. Aslinia. Udinga ukufunda ukuthethelela abanye ngeziphambeko abazibona kuwena. Awukwazi ukukuqeda? Funa usizo oluthile lochwepheshe. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uchwepheshe wezempilo yengqondo onelayisense noma umqeqeshi wezempilo, thola othile ozizwa ukhululekile kuye futhi uqale ukudedela izinhlungu zakho zangaphambilini noma imizwa yentukuthelo ekwenza uzizwe ubambekile. Uma ukwazi ukuthethelela futhi uyeke okwedlule, ngokwemvelo uzoba umuntu onomusa.
19. Tshala into eluhlaza ezindaweni ezinganakiwe zangakini
Cabanga ukuthi omakhelwane bakho bayojabula kanjani lapho bevuka bebona izihlahla ezinhle noma izimbali ngolunye usuku, ezibonakala zingaphandle kwesibhakabhaka.
20. Thenga noma wenzele umuntu ongenakhaya isemishi
Iziphuzo ezibandayo nezishisayo (kuye ngokuthi isizini) nazo ziyimibono emihle.
21. Yazisa eminye imibono
Ufuna ngempela ukuba muhle kumakhelwane wakho, kodwa awukwazi ukudlula iqiniso lokuthi wake wayihlazisa inja yakho. Ngokuvamile, izinkolelo nemicabango yethu eqinile iphazamisa izinhloso zethu ezinhle, kusho uDkt. Aslinia. Ngakho-ke yini ukulungisa? Zama ukukhumbula ukuthi sonke siphila ngendlela ehlukile. Enye yezinto ezinhle kakhulu ongayenza ukwenza umzamo wokuqonda umbono wabanye abantu. Buza imibuzo futhi ubonise isithakazelo kubantu. Khona-ke lalela ngobuqotho lokho abakushoyo. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ukulalelakuzokusiza ungabi nokwahlulela. (Hey, mhlawumbe uNkz. Beamon wake waba ne-pudgy pooch, naye.)
22. Funda enye yalezi zincwadi
Umusa uqala ekhaya. Kusuka Isihlahla Esiphayo ku Amabhulubhu , nazi izincwadi ezingu-15 ezifundisa izingane umusa.
23. Shiya isibuyekezo esikhazimulayo
Uthembele ekubuyekezweni kwabanye abantu ukuze unqume ukuthi uzodla kuphi noma wenze izinwele zakho zenziwe kanjani-manje sekuyithuba lakho. Futhi uma kwenzeka uhlangana noweta noma umdayisi ovelele, ungakhohlwa ukwazisa umphathi ngakho.
24. Yiba umthombo we-positivity ezinkundleni zokuxhumana
Kuningi okwehlisa ingcindezi, okuqukethwe okungekuhle laphaya. Gcoba abazonda ngomusa ngokuthumela okuqukethwe okufundisayo, okunokuqonda nokugqugquzelayo. Kwangathi singasikisela enye yalezi zicaphuno ezinhle ?
25. Khokhela phambili
Ngokuthumela lolu hlu nxazonke.
OKUhlobene: 9 Izindlela Ezifakazelwe Ngokwesayensi Zokuba Umuntu Ojabule Kakhudlwana
