Khumbula ukuthi Sarah Jessica Parker movie Yehlulekile Ukwethula ? Kuwumdlalo wamahlaya wothando ngendoda eneminyaka engu-30 ubudala, uMatthew McConaughey, osahlala nabazali bayo. Akukho okuhlanya kakhulu ngalokho...kodwa ngokushesha sithola ukuthi yena noma abazali bakhe abafuni ngempela ukumbona ephuma esidlekeni. Lokhu kuvumela ingane endala. Futhi nakuba kungokwemvelo ngabazali ukuba bafune ukusiza izingane zabo kuyo yonke iminyaka yobudala, ngezinye izikhathi usizo lwabo lungashintsha lube lula, ikakhulukazi lapho ingane yabo ineminyaka engu-30 ubudala ejola noSarah Jessica Parker.
Kodwa ukunika amandla izingane zakho esezikhulile akulula ngaso sonke isikhathi. Wazi kanjani ukuthi lokhu kuyasebenza kuwe? Lapha, sisiza ukuhlukanisa izimpawu zokuthi uvumela ingane yakho esikhulile futhi sabelane ngamathiphu awusizo okuthi ungamisa kanjani.
Ngokombono wezobuchwepheshe, ukunika amandla kwenzeka lapho umzali esusa umphumela omubi ovela ngokwemvelo empilweni yengane esikhulile, futhi ingane ingafundi kokuhlangenwe nakho, kuchaza. UDkt. Lara Friedrich , isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo esinelayisensi esisebenza nemindeni. Okusho okuhlukile, kulapho umzali nengane bebambeka emjikelezweni ogcina bobabili bencike komunye ngendlela engayivumeli ingane endala ukuba yenze amaphutha futhi ikhule.
Ingxenye yesizathu sokuthi lokhu kungase kwenzeke ingoba umzali akafuni ukuba ingane yakhe ikhule futhi iyishiye othulini, ngomqondo ongokomfanekiso. Ngezinye izikhathi abazali bavumela ngaphandle kokuqaphela lapho besaba ukuba nengane ehlukene ibe umuntu omdala ogcwele. Lapho lokho kuhlukana kubuhlungu kakhulu, abazali bayothatha izinyathelo ezingasizi zokugcina ingane iseduze, ngisho noma kuphazamisa ukukhula komuntu siqu, uDkt. Friedrich uthi. Isibonelo, ukubhala incwadi yekhava yengane yakho njalo lapho ingane yakho ikhathazeka kugcina ikudinga, okungase kuzizwe kumnandi. Kodwa kuvimbela ingane ukuthi iphume yodwa futhi iyifundise ukuthi izofeza imigomo yayo kuphela ngosizo lwakho.
Ngakho esikhundleni sokufunda ukuthi ungaba kanjani umuntu omdala osebenzayo, ozimele, ingane yakho izuza umuzwa wemfanelo, ukufunda ukungabi nalusizo kanye nokuntula inhlonipho.
Bazolindela ukuphathwa ngendlela efanayo kwabanye abantu ezimpilweni zabo futhi bahlanganyele kuphela ebudlelwaneni lapho bengaba khona ubugovu kanye nendawo yokunaka, kusho uDkt. Racine Henry, umelaphi womshado nomndeni ozinze eNew York kanye nomsunguli we I-Sankofa Marriage and Family Therapy. Futhi, ukunika amandla akudingi ukuthi ingane yakho ikuhloniphe noma icabangele imizwa yakho. Lokhu kungase kunciphise ikhono lakho lokuzimela futhi uphile impilo yakho ngokwemibandela yakho ngoba kuzodingeka uhlale utholakala futhi unesibopho somunye umuntu omdala.
Kusukela emisebenzini yansuku zonke efana nokuhlanza izingubo nokuhlanza ingane yakho esikhulile kuye ezindabeni ezinkulu njengokubeka izaba zokuluthwa izidakamizwa kanye nomsebenzi wobugebengu, ukunika amandla kungavela ngezindlela ezahlukene.
Nazi ezinye zezimpawu ovumela ingane yakho isikhulile:
1. Wenzela noma yisiphi isinqumo ingane yakho esikhulile.
Ingane yakho incike kuwe ukuthi wenze izinqumo kanye nayo ngakho konke, kusho uDkt. Henry. Kuyinto eyodwa ukunikeza iseluleko kodwa uma ingane yakho endala ithembele kuwe ukuthi unqume mayelana nemisebenzi, abangani, abantu abathandana nabo, njll. bathembele ngendlela engenampilo.
2. Ingane yakho endala ayikuhloniphi.
Ababonisi inhlonipho kuwe noma bagcine noma yimiphi imingcele oyibekile. Uma uthi, ‘ungangifoneli ngemva kuka-10 p.m. noma ngeke ngisakuvumela ukuba uhlale nami futhi’ futhi baqhubeka benza lezi zinto, ungase ukwazi ukwenza lokhu kuziphatha, kusho uDkt. Henry.
3. Ingane yakho endala ayikwazi ukwamukela ‘cha.’
Uma ingane yakho inokusabela okungekuhle kakhulu kanye ne-visceral lapho wenqaba izicelo zayo, uDkt. Henry uthi lokhu kuwuphawu ukuthi uvumela ukuziphatha okungalungile.
4. Ukhokhela yonke into, ngaso sonke isikhathi.
Uma ingane yakho esikhulile ihlala nawe futhi ingangenisi ezindlekweni zasendlini kanye/noma ukhokha izikweletu zayo, usungula umkhuba omubi.
5. Wena ‘ngane’ ingane yakho endala.
Akufanele ufundise ingane yakho esikhulile izinto okufanele isivele yazi ukuthi zenziwa kanjani, njengokuwasha izingubo.
6. Uzizwa ucindezelekile, usizakala futhi ukhathele.
Kuyingozi kumzali ngoba kungaphazamisa isikhathi sakhe, imali, amandla nenkululeko, futhi kubagcine behileleke ekuphileni kwengane ngendlela engasakhiqizi, kuchaza uDkt. Friedrich.
Uma ucabanga ukuthi unika ingane yakho amandla, nazi izinyathelo ongazithatha ukuze uyeke:
1. Beka imingcele.
Imingcele iyisihluthulelo sokusiza ingane yakho endala ukuthi izimele, kusho uDkt. Henry. Yebo unganikeza usizo futhi ube khona ukuze ubahlenge uma kunesimo esiphuthumayo, kodwa kufanele bazame izixazululo ngokwabo. Ungaqala ngokucabanga ukuthi yimiphi imingcele okhululekile kuyo. Lokhu kungasebenza esikhaleni, esikhathini, emalini, ekutholakaleni, njll., bese unganquma ukuba nengxoxo nengane yakho mayelana nale mikhawulo noma ungaqala ukusebenzisa le mikhawulo ngokushesha okukhulu. Okubalulekile wukungaguquguquki nokusebenzisa imingcele ephumelelayo. Uma ingane yakho endala ingakhululekile futhi/noma ingajabule ngemingcele, kuwuphawu ukuthi imingcele iyasebenza.
UDkt. Friedrich uyavuma, ethi udinga ukucaca ukuthi singakanani isikhathi, imali namandla ozimisele ukukusebenzisa ezindabeni zengane yakho. Tshela ingane yakho lo mkhawulo. Uma ingane ihlale icela imali, thola ukuthi yini esebenzayo bese uthi, ‘Ngingakunika amaRandi angu-50 ukuze ulungise imoto yakho kule nyanga,’ ngokwesibonelo. Noma ‘ngikunikeza u-$__ ukuze usize ngokuba nezingubo ezifanele umsebenzi kulo nyaka.’ Uma bedinga usizo lwe-r sum , khetha umkhawulo wesikhathi futhi ume ngaso.
2. Funda ukuhlala kahle ngokubona ingane yakho idonsa kanzima.
Gxila ekwandiseni ukubekezelela kwakho ukubona ingane yakho idonsa kanzima, kusho uDkt. Friedrich. Uma kunzima kakhulu ukukubuka, noma uma uzithola udonsa kaningi, khuluma nomelaphi ukuze uqonde kangcono okwenzekayo. Ndawonye, ningakha icebo elenziwe ngokwezifiso ukuze ninqamule umjikelezo.
3. Batshele ku-Google.
Uma izingane zakho ezindala zikubuza ukuthi uyenza kanjani into ethile, phakamisa ukuthi ziyisebenzise ku-Google. Kungase kuzwakale kunzima, kodwa bayakwazi. Bazoyithola, kusho uRebecca Ogle, usonhlalakahle wasemtholampilo kanye nomelaphi onelayisensi owenza i-teletherapy e-Illinois. Ngayo leyo migqa, uthi yeka ukwenzela izingane zakho izinto eziwumthwalo wazo. Ngokuyeka, ubanikeza ithuba: A. Bangenzi lutho futhi bahlupheke ngenxa yemiphumela noma B. Ukwenza abakudingayo. Ukuzikhethela kukubo.
