Ukucabanga konke-noma-lutho kuwubuciko obulimazayo bokungaziba ama-nuances okuphila. Kalula nje, icabanga ngokwedlulele. Abanye abantu bakubiza ngokuthi ukucabanga okumnyama nokumhlophe noma ukucabanga kwe-absolutist. I-Pacific CBT, inhlangano egxile ekwelashweni kokuziphatha kwengqondo, iyikhomba njengephethini yomcabango ehlanganisa zonke izimo kuze kube manje. izinketho ezimbili eziphikisanayo . Ngakho-ke, konke noma lutho. Okumnyama noma okumhlophe. Kuhle noma kubi. Ivimbela abantu ukuthi bahlole indawo empunga futhi ingaholela ekukhathazekeni, ekucindezelekeni nasekungazethembini.
Uma uhlangabezana nokucabanga konke-noma-lutho, awuwedwa. I-Cognitive Behavioral Therapy e-Los Angeles ithi ukucabanga konke-noma-lutho kuhlukaniswa njengokuhlanekezelwa kwengqondo, noma isiphetho esenziwe ngokusekelwe ebufakazini obuncane noma obungenabo. Ingenye ye ukuhlanekezelwa kwengqondo okuvame kakhulu ulwazi lwabantu. Mina ngokwami ngitshelwe abelaphi abahlukene ukuthi ngihlale ngidonsela ukweqisa. Ngakho-ke, usenkampanini enhle.
Kungani ukucabanga-noma-lutho kulimaza?
Ukucabanga konke-noma-lutho kusivimbela ekukhuleni, ukuzivumelanisa nezimo futhi ngokuvamile sijabulela noma yini engaphelele. Kwenza ukuphila kube lula kakhulu ngokuhlukanisa yonke into ibe izigaba ezimbili: okuhle noma okubi, impumelelo noma ukwehluleka, okuphelele noma okubi. Njengoba ngokoqobo kungekho muntu ophelele, ukucabanga kokuthi konke noma-lutho kuvame ukusifaka kulezo zigaba ezingezinhle.
Abacabangi be-Absolutist bazibona beyizehluleki uma benza noma iphutha elincane. Ashley Thorn of 4Points Ukwelashwa Komndeni itshela i-Psych Central ukuthi lokhu kususa noma yiliphi ithuba lokugubha impumelelo encane noma ukufunda emaphutheni. Uma umphumela omuhle uphelele, njengokuphelela, noma yini embi isiphoqa ukuthi sihlukanise wonke umsebenzi njengesehluleki. Yingakho iphethini yokucabanga emnyama nemhlophe ixhumene kakhulu nokukhathazeka nokucindezeleka (futhi ngenxa yalokho, ukuzethemba okuphansi kanye nokuntuleka kogqozi).
Isibonelo esivame ukusetshenziswa ukukhombisa ukucabanga konke-noma-lutho kuyinhlolokhono yomsebenzi. Umuntu ocabanga konke noma ongenalutho uzoshiya inhlolokhono yomsebenzi egxile enkathini eyodwa abahluleka ngayo, ephetha ngokuthi konke okuhlangenwe nakho kwaba ukuqhuma ngenxa ye-flub eyodwa. Umuntu ocabangayo ocabangayo uzoshiya inhlolokhono yomsebenzi egxile kuzo zombili izikhathi ezinhle kanye neziqephu ezimbi, ebona sonke isiqephu njengento yokufunda. Impela, angizange ngiwuphathe kahle umbuzo mayelana nobuthakathaka, kodwa ngishayele ngempela imibuzo mayelana nolwazi lwangaphambilini. Hhayi okuhle noma okubi, kodwa okuhle futhi kubi.
Imicabango eyeqisayo, engaphelele ayigcini nje ngokukhinyabeza ukukhula kwethu; ziphazamisa ikhono lethu lokubona ulwelwesi olusiliva noma siphindele emuva ngemva kokukhubeka. Ngaphezu kwakho konke, zisincisha izinhlobo zokuphila ezinhle, eziyinqaba nezicashile!
Izimpawu eziyisi-6 zokucabanga konke-noma-lutho
Uma ubona imicabango yakho engaphakathi yenza noma yikuphi kwalokhu okulandelayo—noma uqala ukukhuluma ngale ndlela eyeqisayo—ungase ube umcabango ophelele noma ongacabangi lutho.
1. Usebenzisa izinto ezinhle kakhulu
Amagama afana njalo futhi awalokothi aholele ngqo eziphethweni ezimnyama nezimhlophe. Ngihlala ngikufiphaza lokhu, noma Akekho oyophinde akhulume nami, ziyizibonelo.
2. Udela kalula
Ukubeka imigomo kuhle! Ukukhipha isisu ngemva kokuphonswa kwecala akwenzeki. Uma ubuhlele ukwenza i-Dry January, kodwa wavumela ingilazi ye-Champagne ukubungaza umhlalaphansi kamama wakho, awuzange uchithe inyanga yonke.
3. Uhlangabezana nakho L awu ukuzethemba m
Uma uhlezi uzibona ungcweti noma uyisiphukuphuku, maningi amathuba okuthi ukuzethemba kwakho kuzoba nethonya elikhulu. Asikwazi sonke ukuba ochwepheshe kukho konke.
4. Ubhekana nokukhathazeka
Idili elifanayo lapha. Uma iphutha elincane lisho ukwehluleka ngokuphelele, ukuhlela noma ukulungiselela noma yini kwandisa ukukhathazeka. Futhi, ngemuva kweqiniso, ukukhathazeka kuyenyuka ngoba sigxile kokubi.
5. Uyahlehlisa futhi/noma awuzizwa ukhuthazwa
Kungani uze uqale lapho kunethuba lokuthi kukhona okungahambi kahle? Bonke noma abangenalutho abacabangi bavame ukwenqaba ukuqala ngoba abaqiniseki ngamaphesenti angu-100 ukuthi umphumela uzoba amaphesenti angu-100 aphelele.
6. Niziba izinto ezinhle
Ukungakwazi ukubonga ngalokho onakho noma ukubona izikhathi ezikhanyayo phakathi kwezimnyama kuwuphawu lokucabanga okumnyama nokumhlophe.
Ungawuqeda kanjani umkhuba wokuthi konke noma-lutho
Njenganoma yimuphi umkhuba wokuqonda, kungenzeka ukuthi uzikhulule ekucabangeni konke-noma-lutho. Kuthatha isikhathi, kodwa uma usudlule ekuboneni kokumnyama nokumhlophe, umhlaba uvulekela kumathuba amaningi anemibala eminingi. Okubalulekile ukuthi uhlale uzikhumbuza ukuthi kunemiphumela engaphezu kwemibili cishe nganoma yisiphi isimo.
1. Qaphela
Qaphela ngaso sonke isikhathi lapho ukucabanga konke-noma-lutho kuvela. Awudingi ngisho nokwenza noma yini ngakho ngokushesha. Vele uyivume ngekhanda uyibize ngokuthi iyini.
2. Faka esikhundleni noma nge futhi
Okwenzekayo kungaba kuhle futhi kube kubi (ubonile Phendukezelwe ?). Kunokuba ulebule okuhlangenwe nakho ngokuthi kuhle noma kubi, zama ukuthola zombili izimfanelo.
3. Thola imizwa
Ngemva kokuhlangenwe nakho, thola yonke imizwa oyizwile ngenkathi ukuyo. Lokhu kungasiza ukukhombisa ukuhlukahluka ngezikhathi zansuku zonke. Kuyenzeka uzizwe ujabulile, wethukile, unethemba futhi uzidla ngesikhathi esisodwa - okufakazela ukuthi impilo akuyona nje into eyodwa noma enye.
Ezine. Bhala phansi amandla akho kanye nobuthakathaka bakho
Njengokuhlangenwe nakho, wena ngokwakho ungaba muhle kwezinye izinto futhi ube mubi kwezinye. Akusho ukuthi uphumelele ngokuphelele noma uyisehluleki ngokuphelele. Ungase ube umpheki omkhulu, kodwa umdlali we-Scrabble ongemkhulu kangako. Lokho akusho ukuthi zonke izitsha oziphekayo zizoba zinhle, futhi akusho ukuthi kufanele uyeke ukudlala iScrabble.
5. Yamukela amaphutha
Lokhu kuwubuqili, ikakhulukazi kithina abathanda ukuphelela, kodwa lungisa kabusha ingqondo yakho ukuze ihumushe iphutha njengethuba lokufunda. Kulula ukukusho kunokukwenza, kodwa indlela eqinile ngempela yokuthuthukisa amakhono nokuba nomusa kuwena.
6. Faka ohlwini amaqiniso uma kuqhathaniswa nokucatshangwayo uma kuqhathaniswa nalokho okungenzeka
Bhala phansi lokho okwaziyo ngeqiniso. Bhala phansi lokho ocabanga ukuthi uyakwazi noma ocabanga ukuthi kuyiqiniso. Ngemva kwalokho, bhala lokho okungenzeka ukuthi kuyiqiniso. Hamba kabi ngalawa mathuba.
Uma ungabaza, yazi ukuthi awuwedwa ekucabangeni kwakho konke-noma-futhi ungakuvumeli kukuvimbele!
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