Uyamthanda ubaba wakho, kodwa noma nini lapho efona, uvele ubambe ongezansi. Umama wakho uhlale ekhetha ukubukeka kwakho. Udadewenu ngeke ayeke ukuqhathanisa ukuphila kwakhe neyakho—futhi kukwenza uzizwe kabi ngempela ngawe. Uma okunye kwalokhu kuzwakala kujwayelekile, unokuthile okuguquguqukayo komndeni okunobuthi okwenzekayo. Lapha, izincwadi eziyisikhombisa ezingasiza (noma okungenani zikwenze uzizwe ungedwa kancane).
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I-TarcherPerigeeFuthi: Ukuphulukisa Inhliziyo Yakho Nokuthola Kabusha Ubuwena Bakho Bangempela Ngemva Kobudlelwane Obunobuthi nguJackson MacKenzie
Wake wezwa ngonxantathu wedrama? Ngokuyisisekelo, iphethini elingenampilo elingaqala lapho umuntu onezisusa ezinhle-othokozisa abantu (okungukuthi, wena) ezama ukufinyelela futhi asize umuntu onobuthi onenkinga ukuze aziphazamise ekuziphatheni kwakhe okuphansi. Kodwa kungakhathaliseki ukuthi benzani, akunakwenzeka ukuthi bafinyelele ngempela emnyombeni wezindaba zomuntu, ngakho bangena emjikelezweni wokuzama ukusiza kakhulu kuze kube yilapho sebewaqedile wonke amandla abo, okubenza bazizwe bebi nakakhulu. Ngaleso sikhathi, umuntu onobuthi uzoqhubeka ebuza kakhulu kuwe, eqhubeka nomjikelezo. Lokhu kufunda okuwusizo kugqamisa ubuhlakani bazo zonke izinhlobo zobudlelwano obunobuthi futhi kukusiza ukuthi ubheke amaphethini ukuze ukwazi ukunqamula uchungechunge lokuhlala udonswa uhlobo olufanayo lokuziphatha okunobuthi kaningi.
I-PicadorUkugijima Ngesikelo ngu-Augusten Burroughs
Kwesinye isikhathi udinga ikhefu ezincwadini zokuzisiza futhi ufune nje ukuxolisa nomuntu oke waba khona. Noma ngabe usuyifundile i-albhamu yokuqala kaBurroughs ngenkathi iphuma okokuqala, kufanelekile okunye ukubukeka. Impela, udadewenu wokutholwa uzwa ubuhlungu obukhulu, kodwa okungenani umama wakho akazange akuthume uyohlala nomelaphi wakhe kanye nezingane zakhe esithabathabeni somuzi kaVictoria?
I-HazeldenI-Codependent Ayisekho: Ungakuyeka Kanjani Ukulawula Abanye Futhi Uqale Ukuzinakekela nguMelody Beattie
Siyazi ukuthi ucabangani: Angiyona inkinga. Ubudlelwano bami obunobuthi nomama abuhlangene nami, futhi konke kuhlobene nendlela ahlukumezeke ngayo. Isikhathi sokubona izenzo ongase uzithathe ukuze umise imikhuba yakhe enobuthi emikhondweni yabo. Isinyathelo sokuqala? Ukuvuma ukuthi inkulu indima oyidlalayo kulobu budlelwano kanye nokubona izindlela umama wakho azondla ngayo ngokuziphatha nezimpendulo zakho. Incwadi yombhali wokuzisiza ethengiswa kakhulu kunazo zonke igxile kakhulu kubantu abanobudlelwane obuseduze, obuncikene ndawonye nemilutha, kodwa igcwele izeluleko ezibaluleke kakhulu kunoma ubani onesikhathi esinzima sokubeka imingcele futhi aqine.
ScribnerI-Glass Castle nguJeannette Walls
Ingabe izingane zabazali abanobuthi zingavela njengabantu abadala abanekhono nabaphumelelayo? UJeannette Walls uwubufakazi bokuthi impendulo ingaba yebo oqinile. Embhalweni wakhe ophumelele kakhulu, Ingilazi Inqaba , umbhali ulandisa ngokukhula kwakhe okungahambi kahle ngokwedlulele eNtshonalanga Virginia, namaqhinga abazali bakhe ababengenakhaya ngaleso sikhathi abawasebenzisayo ukuze bazame ukumbuyisela emhlabeni wabo onobuthi kukho konke ukukhula kwakhe. Iyaphakamisa? Akunjalo neze. Kuyakhuthaza, uma ungumntwana wabazali abanobuthi? Nakanjani.
Imfundo yaseMcGraw-HillAbantu Abakhohlakele nguJay Carter, Psy.D.
Ishicilelwe okokuqala ngo-1989, lolu hlelo olubuyekeziwe luhlinzeka ngamathiphu awusizo kakhulu mayelana nendlela yokuvula amatafula kumalungu omndeni anobuthi, abangani kanye nozakwethu abake baphakamisa isandla phambilini. UCarter ubhekisela ekuziphatheni okunobuthi njengokungavumelekile, noma ukubeka abanye abantu phansi ukuze uzikhulise. Ugcizelela ukuthi iphesenti elilodwa kuphela labantu abasebenzisa ukungavumelekile ngonya, kuyilapho amaphesenti angama-20 akwenza ngokunganaki njengendlela yokuzivikela. Sonke sikwenza singahlosile neze (yebo, nawe uke waba umvimbi ngesikhathi esithile). Uma usuqala ukubona ukuziphatha komuntu ongavumelekile—futhi uqaphela ukuthi ezikhathini eziningi, cishe akakwenzi ukuze akulimaze—uzoba semgudwini ofanele wokulawula imizwa yakho ngobudlelwano.
Penguin BooksIqembu Lamanga nguMary Karr
Ngabazali abayizidakwa, abagula ngengqondo, amakhadi abonakala enqwabelene kuKarr nodadewabo. Kodwa uKarr usefake indaba yakhe egolideni elibhaliwe (futhi ngokuvamile elihlekisayo) okufanele alifunde noma ubani osebenzelana nomzali onobuthi. Uma uzizwa uphansi ngezinkinga zomndeni wakho, khumbula nje leli gugu lomugqa: Umndeni ongasebenzi kahle yinoma yimuphi umndeni onabantu abangaphezu koyedwa kuwo.
Izincwadi Ezintsha Ze-HarbingerIzingane Ezikhulile Zabazali Abangavuthiwe Ngokomzwelo nguLindsay C. Gibson, Psy.D.
Ungumuntu omdala okhulile, kodwa noma nini lapho usegunjini elilodwa nomndeni wakho, uzizwa sengathi usuneminyaka engu-12 futhi. Uma unabazali abanobuthi, kuyinkomba enkulu yokuthi izinkinga zakho nabo azikaxazululwa. Encwadini yakhe ethandwayo, uGibson uhlukanisa abazali abanzima babe yizinhlobo ezine: umzali ongokomzwelo, umzali oqhutshwayo, umzali ongenzi lutho kanye nomzali owenqabayo. Ukuhlonza izindlela ezisebenza ngazo kanye nokuthatha indlela engokwengqondo eyengeziwe (ngokungafani neyomzwelo) kungase kukusize ubone abazali bakho ngendlela entsha—futhi uqaphele ukuthi ukuziphatha kwabo akuzange kuhlanganise lutho nawe.
