Ingabe wonke umuntu wenza ucansi ngaphezu kwami? Abashadikazi benza kangaki ucansi? Yimibuzo esike sazibuza yona sonke. Phela, kuyimvelo yomuntu ukuzibuza ukuthi ulinganisa kanjani nabanye abashadile uma kuziwa ekwenzeni isenzo. Kodwa akulula kangako ukubala le nombolo yomlingo ngoba incike ezinhlobonhlobo zezinto ezifana nendlela yokuphila, impilo, isifiso sobulili kanye neminyaka.
Abantu benza ucansi kaningi kangakanani?
Ngokusho kocwaningo lwe-Kinsey Institute oluvela ku-2017, amaphesenti angu-34 emibhangqwana eshadile enza ucansi kabili kuya kathathu ngesonto; amaphesenti angu-45 izikhathi ezimbalwa ngenyanga; namaphesenti angu-13 izikhathi ezimbalwa kuphela ngonyaka. Lolu cwaningo luphinde lwathola ukuthi abantu abaneminyaka ephakathi kuka-18 no-29 bakwenza kabili ngesonto, abaphakathi kuka-30 no-39 benza ucansi izikhathi ezingu-86 ngonyaka, kanti abaneminyaka ephakathi kuka-40 no-49 izikhathi ezingu-69 ngonyaka.
Ngiyigcina kanjani impilo yocansi enempilo njengoba ngikhula?
Kuyathakazelisa ukuthi kungakhathaliseki ukuthi iminyaka yakho yezinto eziphilayo, uma uzizwa umncane, impilo yakho yobulili izobonakala yanelisa kakhulu. 'Labo abazizwa bebadala futhi abanezimo zengqondo ezingezinhle ngokuguga kungenzeka babone ukwehla okukhulu kwezinga lempilo yabo yocansi. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, abantu abasha banomuzwa wokuthi, maningi amathuba okuba balondoloze ukwaneliseka okukhulu ngokobulili njengoba bekhula (noma okungenani bazothola ushintsho olungabonakali kakhulu),' kubhala uDkt. Justin Lehmiller encwadini ethi Iposi le-Kinsey Institute . Ngokuvamile, lolu cwaningo luhlinzeka ngokusekela okwengeziwe komqondo wokuthi ubuchopho bakho buyilungu lakho elikhulu locansi.
Ingabe izinga labantu abaya ocansini lishintshile ngokuhamba kweminyaka?
Ucwaningo olushicilelwe ngo-2017 ku Izingobo zomlando Zokuziphatha Kocansi yathola ukuthi imibhangqwana eshadile nemibhangqwana ehlala ndawonye yayiba ucansi cishe kanye ngesonto phakathi kuka-2010 no-2014, okulingana nezikhathi ezimbalwa eziyi-16 ngonyaka uma kuqhathaniswa neminyaka eyishumi edlule (kusuka ku-2000 kuya ku-2004). Sekukonke, umuntu omdala ojwayelekile waya ocansini izikhathi eziyisishiyagalolunye ezimbalwa ngonyaka ngaleso sikhathi. Izinto ezisukela emsebenzini ziye kwezobuchwepheshe kuye ezinsizeni zokusakaza-bukhoma ezifana ne-Netflix zisolwa ngokwalokhu kuncipha kwezikhathi zocansi.
Ngenza ucansi olungakanani ngempela isidingo?
Izindaba ezinhle ukuthi, kanye ngesonto kungase kube yikho konke okudingayo ukuze uthole imivuzo yokuzizwa ujabule nempilo yocansi enempilo. Ocwaningweni lwango-2015 olushicilelwe ku Isayensi Yezengqondo Nezobuntu , imibhangqwana eya ocansini okungenani kanye ngesonto yathi ijabule kakhudlwana ngobudlelwano babo. Futhi ngokumangalisayo, abacwaningi bathola nokuthi ubulili obuningi abusho injabulo eyengeziwe. Kodwa uma ungafinyeleli kulowo mkhawulo otholakala kanye ngesonto, ungase ufune ukuphokophela lokho; ungakwenzi nje kubonakale kuwumsebenzi.
Ingabe ubulili obuningi bungcono ebudlelwaneni obujabulisayo?
Ngisho noma wena nomlingani wakho nishaya uphawu oluphezulu mayelana nemvamisa, lokho akusho ukuthi ubulili buhle. Njengasezicini eziningi zanoma ibuphi ubuhlobo, ikhwalithi ibaluleke kakhulu kunobuningi, kusho uDkt. Alexander Bingham, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo esisebenza ngengqondo saseNew York. Umbhangqwana onama-orgasm amabili kuya kwamathathu ndawonye isonto ngalinye ngokuthintana kwesitho sangasese sowesifazane unganelisana ngokomzimba nangokomzwelo. Kodwa-ke, lokhu kucabanga ukuthi womabili amalungu ombhangqwana ayakwazi ukuzwa i-orgasm egcwele.
Ingabe abantu bayaneliseka ngocansi abalwenzayo?
Ngeshwa, amadoda athambekele ekulinganiseni ngokweqile amathuba okufinyelela i-orgasm ehlangene. Ngokocwaningo lukazwelonke lwango-2010 lwezempilo nokuziphatha ngokocansi, cishe amaphesenti angama-85 amadoda abike ukuthi abalingani babo baba ne-orgasm ngesikhathi begcina ukuya ocansini, kodwa ngamaphesenti angama-64 kuphela abesifazane ababike ukuthi bane-orgasm.
Leli gebe le-orgasm liphinde latholakala ocwaningweni olushicilelwe ku I Ijenali Yezokwelapha Zocansi ngo-2018, lapho abacwaningi beqhathanisa kukangaki abayeni namakhosikazi bethi empeleni benza i-orgasm ngesikhathi socansi ukuthi kangaki abalingani babo umcabango benza i-orgasm. Phakathi kwemibhangqwana engabantu bobulili obuhlukile, amaphesenti angu-87 abayeni namaphesenti angu-49 amakhosikazi abike ukuthi ayeba ne-orgasms njalo, kanti amaphesenti angu-43 amadoda ayengaqondi ukuthi amakhosikazi awo avame ukuba ne-orgasms.
Bantu besifazane, ungase ungafuni ukuyizwa, kodwa sisize ukudala le nkinga—ngokuyikhohlisa. Ohs kanye nama-ahs akho afanelwe i-Oscar, à la Lapho uHarry ehlangana no-Sally, banikeze amadoda umuzwa ongamanga wokufeza okuthile. (Olunye ucwaningo luthi cishe amaphesenti angaba ngu-80 abesifazane ama-orgasm mbumbulu.) Nakuba amadoda nawo engenacala ngokuphelele. Ucwaningo lwango-2018 lumane lugcizelela ukubaluleka kokuxhumana ngocansi ngaphambi, ngesikhathi nangemva kwesenzo, nokuthi uma owesilisa eqaphelisisa, umbhangqwana ugculiseka kakhulu.
Mina nophathina wami siyithuthukisa kanjani impilo yethu yocansi?
Ukuzijwayeza kwenza kuphelele, akunjalo? Uma ufuna ukuthuthukisa impilo yakho yocansi, u-Bingham uphakamisa ukuthi uzibophezele ekufundeni indlela yokwanelisa wena nomlingani wakho ngokomzimba nangokomzwelo… ngamunye wethu angafunda ukuthi singasizana kanjani futhi nini ukuze sibe ne-orgasm egcwele, ephelele, neyanelisayo.
Yiqiniso, ubulili busengajabulisa ngaphandle kokuphela okukhulu, okuqhumayo. Ngakho-ke ungacabangi ukuthi izikhathi zocansi ezivamile kodwa zingcono kunokuba nocansi ngezikhathi ezithile kodwa ekugcineni olwenelisayo.
OKUhlobene: Mina Nomfana Wami Sesiyekile Ukwenza Ucansi. Ingabe Kufanele Sihlukane?
