Siyakwamukela kokuthi ‘Phakathi Kwamashidi,’ ochungechungeni olusha lapho siphendula khona imibuzo yabafundi mayelana nocansi, ubudlelwano kanye nokuthola injabulo ngaphakathi nangaphandle kothando. Unombuzo ovuthayo? Ithumele ku editor@purewow.com .
Ngiyakuthola; awuyikhanyisi, futhi uvele ukhathazeke ngokuthi inhlansi ayisekho. Kodwa ake ngikuqinisekise: Ubulili buyancipha ebudlelwaneni obuningi, futhi lokho kuyinto evamile. Futhi yi-F-I-N-E uma nobabili nilungile ngobuningi—ngisho noma kungaba kanye ngenyanga, noma ngaphansi.
Indaba lapha ukuthi wena ungacabangi ukuthi uxhumana nomlingani wakho ngokwanele, uma kunjalo, izinguquko zidinga ukwenziwa. Ngaphambi kokucabangela ukuhlukana okubi kakhulu, hlala phansi umlingani wakho futhi uthathe lezi zinyathelo ukuze ukhanyise kabusha umlilo.
Xoxa ngefrikhwensi yakho efanelekile, futhi uhlose inombolo efanelekile.
Uma ungathanda ukuya ocansini kathathu ngesonto, kodwa umlingani wakho ukhetha kanye ngesonto, kufanele uhlose indawo ephakathi. Futhi kufanele usebenzele kuleyo nombolo, ngakho-ke khuluma ngokuthi yini ezokwenza ucansi kabili ngeviki lulawuleke kuwe.
Uma uvutha ekupheleni kosuku, mhlawumbe udinga ukusetha i-alamu imizuzu engu-30 ngaphambili izikhathi ezimbalwa ngeviki. Uma ujahe kakhulu ekuseni, hlela ucansi ngoLwesibili nangoLwesihlanu (ngokwesibonelo) futhi ulale kusenesikhathi ukuze kwenzeke. Mhlawumbe udinga usuku olumisiwe lobusuku ukuze uthandane ngendlela yakho.
Zama izinto ezintsha. Kodwa gcina leyo nombolo engqondweni, futhi usebenzele ukuyishaya njalo ngeviki elilodwa.
Qalisa, qala, qala—futhi uphendule, lapho kudingeka.
Ngezinye izikhathi, ukuqalisa izinto kuyingxenye enzima kakhulu—futhi abesifazane abaningi abathathi isinyathelo esanele nabalingani babo. Hlela ukuqala inqubo cishe ingxenye yesikhathi, nini wena uzizwe usesimweni, ikakhulukazi uma unomfutho wocansi ophezulu. Thatha isinyathelo ngezidingo zakho.
Uma unentshisekelo yobulili ephansi, qaphela ukuthi ungase ube nesifiso socansi esisabelayo . Lokhu kusho ukuthi kufanele uqale inqubo yokuvusa inkanuko ngaphambi kokuba ujabule ngempela ngocansi; awufisi ngempela ngokuzenzakalelayo. Uma lokho kuzwakala njengawe, tshela umlingani wakho-futhi ungalindi kuze kube yilapho ususesimweni socansi, ngoba ngeke kwenzeke. Esikhundleni salokho, vuleleka ekuthuthukisweni komlingani wakho lapho uzizwa ukulungele, futhi wenze imizamo esebenzayo yokuhlela ucansi empilweni yakho.
Faka ubusha ebudlelwaneni.
Abacwaningi besayensi (kanye nabalingani bothando asebenesikhathi eside) U-Art no-Elaine Aron bathole ukuthi imibhangqwana ebamba iqhaza kunoveli, okuhlangenwe nakho okujabulisayo babike izinga eliphezulu lobudlelwane kunalabo abangakwenzi. I-novelty ingaphinda ifake ubudlelwano bakho nothando oludingekayo ukuze uvuselele impilo yakho yocansi.
Ngakho-ke, yenza ucansi ekamelweni elihlukile lendlu. Zama izikhundla ezintsha. Hamba uye eholidini, futhi uzitholele endaweni entsha. Hlola, ukubona-ukubona, isibopho bese eshaya ekamereni emva kwalokho . I-novelty ibalulekile uma kuziwa ekugcineni ubudlelwano bakho busha futhi bujabulisa. Ikakhulukazi uma ufuna ukuzizwa usondelene nesithandwa sakho futhi ujabulele ucansi oluzenzakalelayo...yenza izinto ezintsha, ngokungaguquki.
Bheka noma yiziphi izinkinga zezempilo.
Uma konke kwehluleka, qiniseka ukuthi akukho okwenzekayo empilweni yakho noma empilweni yomlingani wakho ngokwezempilo lokho kungase kwehlise isifiso sakho socansi . Izinkinga ezithile zempilo yengqondo njengokukhathazeka nokudangala zingehlisa i-libido, kanye nezimo ezifana nesifo sikashukela nemithi efana nama-SSRIs. Uma enye yalezi zinkinga idlala, idokhumenti yakho ingase ikwazi ukusho ukulungisa okulungile.
Ngokusobala, uma uhlole zonke izinketho futhi izidingo zakho zocansi azihlangabezwana, khona-ke ungase ungahambisani nomlingani wakho. Kodwa ungagxumi kahle ukuze nihlukane, uma uthando lukhona. Vumelanani ukwenza umzamo ofanayo ekugcineni ilangabi liphila njengoba niba umbhangqwana oqinile.
Ubudlelwano bungumsebenzi! Futhi lona umsebenzi ozodinga ukuwenza impilo yakho yonke. Okungcono ukuqala manje.
UJenna Birch ungumqeqeshi wokuphola, intatheli kanye nombhali we Igebe Lothando: Uhlelo Oluqinile Lokunqoba Empilweni Nasothandweni .
OKUhlobene: Izizathu Eziyi-10 zokuthi Ungalokothi Ufune Ukwenza Ucansi
