Uyamazi lowo mngane, ilungu lomndeni noma umuntu omazi nje ocabanga ukuthi umhlaba umelene nabo? Uyazi, umuntu ozothola noma yiliphi ithuba lokukhononda ngokuthi izinto azimsebenzeli kanjani? Yebo, abantu abahlale—noma ngabe kuthiwani—bedlala isisulu. Abantu abanomqondo oyisisulu ngokuvamile bayenqaba ukuthatha umthwalo wemfanelo ngezinkinga ezenzeka ezimpilweni zabo futhi balindele ukuthi abathandekayo babo bangene ngokukhulu ukushesha njalo lapho kukhona okungahambi kahle. Indaba iwukuthi, sonke sinezingqinamba zethu, ngakho-ke uma othile ekuthwalisa kanzima ngezinkinga zakhe, kungase kuphele amandla ngendlela emangalisayo.
Ngokomlobi uDkt. Judith Orloff, izisulu eziqhubekayo empeleni zingama-vampire anamandla. Uma kwenzeka uphuthelwe, i-energy vampire iyigama labantu empilweni yakho abamunca wonke amandla akho (uyazi, njengama-vampires). Bavame ukuba amadlingozi, abaswele kanye nokugcinwa okusezingeni eliphezulu. Uma usola (wazi) ukuthi othile empilweni yakho uwuhlobo oluhlala ludlala isisulu, funda amathiphu amathathu okubhekana nawo, ukunakekelwa kwencwadi ethakazelisayo ka-Orfloff, Umhlahlandlela Wokusinda we-Empath .
1. Beka imingcele enozwela necacile
Akukhona ukuthi awufuni abantu abaseduze kwakho bajabule, ukuthi akuwona umsebenzi wakho ukuba ngumelaphi wabo. Uma othile empilweni yakho ehlala edlala isisulu, zama ukwenza kucace kubo ukuthi ngenkathi usohlangothini lwakhe, awukwazi ukuhlala ukhona (futhi, unempilo yakho). U-Orloff uphinde aphakamise ukuthi kubekwe imingcele ephathekayo ukuze ubonise ukuthi awukho endaweni yokubalalela bezwakalisa ihora mayelana nokuthile ongakwazi ukuyilawula—noma ongakwazi ukuyingenela. Lesi yisikhathi esihle sokunqamula izingalo zakho bese weqa ukuthintana namehlo. thumela umlayezo wokuthi umatasatasa.
2. Sebenzisa ucingo lwemizuzu emithathu
KULUNGILE, ngakho lokhu kuwubuhlakani obuhle. Ucingo luka-Orloff Lwemizuzu Emithathu Locingo luhamba kanje: Lalela kafushane, bese utshela umngane wakho noma ilungu lomndeni ukuthi, ‘Ngiyakweseka, kodwa ngingalalela imizuzu embalwa kuphela uma ulokhu uvuselela izindaba ezifanayo. Mhlawumbe ungazuza ngokuthola umelaphi ongakusiza.’ Kuyafaneleka ukuzama, akunjalo?
3. Ithi ‘cha’ ngokumamatheka
Lena indlela esebenzayo yokuvala isikhalazo somuntu ohlukunyeziwe ngaphambi kokuthi ahambe ngempela. Ake sithi isisebenzi esisebenza naye sesizokwethula i-monologue yemizuzu engama-45 mayelana nokuthi uhlale edlula kanjani ngenxa yokukhushulwa okumfanele ngokuphelele. Esikhundleni sokuthi, Cha. Angikwazi ukukhuluma ngalokhu njengamanje, noma ukulalela ngenjongo yokuba nesizotha, u-Orloff uncoma ukusho into efana nokuthi, ngizobamba imicabango eyakhayo ngomphumela omuhle kakhulu. Ngiyabonga ngokuqonda ukuthi ngifike ngesikhathi futhi kufanele ngibuyele kuphrojekthi yami. Enabangane nomndeni, usikisela ukuzwelana kafushane nenkinga yabo, kodwa bese wenqaba ngokumomotheka ngokushintsha isihloko hhayi ukukhuthaza ukukhononda kwabo.
OKUhlobene : Kunezinhlobo Eziyisi-7 Zama-Energy Vampires—Nansi Indlela Yokubhekana Ngayo Ngayinye
