Ubulokhu utshela indodakazi yakho ukuthi ingaba yinoma yini efisa ukuba yikho kusukela ngosuku eyazalwa ngalo, kodwa uke wama ukucabangela amagama aqulekile kanye nemisho oyishoyo okungenzeka ukuthi inciphisa ikhono layo lokuba yilowo efisa ukuba yikho. kube isikhathi eside? Sangena noDkt. Lea Lis, udokotela wengqondo yezingane kanye nombhali we Akuna Mahloni: Khuluma Ngempela Nezingane Zakho , mayelana nezinkulumo esivame ukuzisho (noma phambi) kwamantombazane ethu nokuthi kungani kudingeka siziyeke.
1. Ubukeka umuhle.
Kungani Kuyinkinga: Ngamadodakazi, awufuni neze ukugxila ekubukekeni kwawo lapho utusa, kusho uDkt. Lis, ngoba kuthumela umyalezo ongalungile mayelana nokuthi yini eyaziswayo. Kunalokho, gxila ezicini ezithile zokwakha izinhlamvu. Isibonelo, ungathi: Hawu, ukhethe ingubo emangalisayo! noma Ubukeka uzethemba kakhulu. Lezi zibiza izibaluli ezingakwazi ukuzilawula uma ziqhathaniswa nezinto ezingakwazi ukuzenza.
2. Hamba ugone uMalume uLarry!
Kungani Kuyinkinga: Zonke izingane—kodwa ikakhulukazi amantombazane—kufanele zivunyelwe ukuba zithuthukise ukuzimela komzimba, okungukuthi zinqume ukuthi ubani ozozithinta nokuthi nini, ngisho zisencane. Ngakho-ke, njengoba ungafuni ukumlimaza imizwa yakhe lapho umalume wakho oyintandokazi emi elule izingalo, kubalulekile ukunikeza indodakazi yakho ithuba lokukhetha. Phakamisa enye indlela yokubingelela (isho, ukuxhawula noma ukungqubuzana ngesibhakela) noma ubatshele ukuthi KULUNGILE ukuvele bathi sawubona. Ngokungayicindezeli, ufundisa indodakazi yakho ukuthi iyona ephethe umzimba wayo ngaso sonke isikhathi—ikhono ofuna ibe nalo lapho ingena eminyakeni yayo yobusha.
3. Ungenze ngaziqhenya noma ngiyaziqhenya ngawe.
Kungani Kuyinkinga: Kubonakala sengathi umsulwa ngokwanele? Hhayi impela. Bheka, emantombazaneni, isidingo sokujabulisa siyinto efundiswa kahle lapho ezalwa. Futhi lapho bebopha injabulo nempumelelo yabo ngokuqondile ekukwenzeni uziqhenye noma ujabule, bangase baqale ukuthulisa ubuhlakani babo bangaphakathi noma ukuzethemba. Ngomushwana othi ‘Ngiyaziqhenya ngawe,’ unezinhloso ezinhle, kodwa kubalulekile ukushintsha ukugxilisa ingqondo kude nalokho okujabulisayo. wena futhi esikhundleni salokho izindlela abangaziqhenya ngazo ngokwabo . Kunalokho, zama: ‘Hawu, kufanele uziqhenye ngawe’ ukuze ubonise ukuthi bayikhampasi yabo futhi abadingi ukuqinisekiswa noma ukugunyazwa kwabanye ukuze baphumelele. Isikhathi eside, lokhu kusiza ukwakha isisekelo sokuzethemba okunempilo, kusho uDkt. Lis.
4. Ngelinye ilanga wena nomyeni wakho nizo...
Kungani Kuyinkinga: Uma sithatha umumo othile wocansi, sibeka izinga noma okulindelekile, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi siqonde ukukwenza noma cha. Kunalokho, uDkt. Lis uphakamisa ukusebenzisa amagama afana nomuntu wesikhathi esizayo noma ngolunye usuku, lapho uqala ukuphola kusukela le mishwana ishiya evulekile ithuba lokuthambekela kobulili obuketshezi. Lolu hlobo loshintsho lwemiyalezo ecashile lungasiza ingane yakho ukuthi izizwe ikhululekile ukukhuluma ngobulili bayo, kuyilapho okwangaphambili kungenza ingane yakho yesabe ukwethembeka kuwe uma isola ukuthi kungenzeka iyi-LGBTQ, uyachaza.
5. Ngidinga ukunciphisa umzimba.
Kungani Kuyinkinga: Sonke sinecala lokuzihlazisa umzimba. Kodwa ukukwenza phambi kwezingane zakho—ikakhulukazi amantombazane—kungabangela izinkinga zesikhathi eside mayelana nokubukeka komzimba, kusho uDkt. Lis. Uhlelo olungcono: Khuluma ngokudla okunempilo eduze kwakho (njengeqiniso lokuthi imifino ikusiza ukuba uqine), kodwa futhi nazo zonke izinto ezinhle ezingenziwa imizimba (ukudansa, ukucula, ukugijima ngokushesha enkundleni yokudlala, njll.).
OKUhlobene: Izinto Ezi-3 Isazi Sengqondo Yengane Esifuna Siyeke Ukuzisho Emadodaneni Ethu
