Uyafunda 50 Imibala Empunga. Uphethe isidlidlizi . Uyazi ukuthi yini i-kink ... noma uyazi? Sithephe umelaphi wocansi ukuze akhulume ngazo zonke izinto ezithinta ucansi uma kwenzeka ufuna ukuhlola eyodwa—noma zombili—ekamelweni. Zibophe ngebhande, ngoba kuzoshuba.
Ngakho, liyini ngempela i-kink?
I-kink yinto yocansi umuntu athanda ukuyenza naye noma ngokuvumelana nabalingani, kusho uRosara Torrisi, PhD wase. i-Long Island Institute of Sex Therapy . Lokhu ngokuvamile kuyinto ebhekwa ngaphandle kwezenzo zocansi ezijwayelekile. I-kink imvamisa iletha amandla enkanuko engeziwe ekuhlanganeni kocansi, kuchaza uTorrisi (cabanga: BDSM, umdlalo wokulingisa noma i-polyamory).
Akusizi lutho, noma kunjalo, ukuthi lokho okubhekwa njenge-kinky kunengqondo. Isibonelo: Nakuba umamezala wakho engase akucabange lokho amathoyizi ocansi bangama-kinky, umngane wakho ubabheka njenge-vanilla enhle.
Ngiyitholile. Ngakho, yini idlozi?
Ikhungo lifana ne-kink, kodwa umehluko ukuthi into ethile iyidlozi lapho KUMELE ibe khona ukuze umuntu azuze inkanuko yobulili noma ajabule. Lokhu kungaba isenzo (njengokwenza ucansi esidlangalaleni) noma into (efana nezinyawo). Into ebalulekile okumele uyikhumbule lapha ukuthi ikhungo liyinto umuntu angeke avukwe ngayo ngaphandle kwayo—ngoba abanye abantu ukucabanga nje ngekhungo kungase kwanele kuyilapho abanye bengase badinge ukuthi bahlanganyele ngempela nento noma ukuziphatha ngandlela thize.
Ima, ngakho-ke yimuphi umehluko phakathi kwe-kink ne-fetish?
Kungase kube khona ukugqagqana phakathi kwe-kink ne-fetish ukuze siqonde ukudideka. UDokotela uTorrisi uhlukanisa umehluko njengokuthi yinto ethile okuthandayo ukwenza noma uma kuyinto othile has ukwenza ukuze nijabulele ucansi.
Nasi isibonelo: Uma ngobusuku obubodwa embhedeni, uzwa ngephutha omakhelwane bakho beya kuyo bese ikuvulela, lokho kuyi-kinky. Kodwa, uma wena isidingo ukulalela noma ukubuka abanye benza ucansi ukuze uzizwe uqhanyelwe ke lokho kuthakathwa.
Ungawahlola kanjani ama-kinks nezithixo ngokuphepha?
Izinto ezimbili ezibaluleke kakhulu mayelana nokuhlola ama-kinks nezithixo ukuvuma nokuhlela ukuphepha, kusho uTorrisi. Lokho kusho ukuthola umaqondana ongamethemba futhi wenze ucwaningo lwakho (njengokufunda ukubopha ifindo ngendlela efanele, isibonelo). Gcina i-RACK efinyeziwe engqondweni, engesona isithakathi kodwa esikhundleni salokho imele i- risk awareness kink. Yigama elisetshenziswa emphakathini we-kink ukuze kuqinisekiswe ukuthi wonke amaqembu akhululekile futhi aphephile.
Kukhona izinsiza ezinhle kakhulu ezivela kubantu abasebenza ngobungcweti ngama-kinks namakhubalo, kusho uTorrisi. Uncoma ukuphuma Indlu Ebomvu ngemikhiqizo, othisha, ucwaningo nokunye. Ukujoyina umphakathi ukuze ufunde kabanzi mayelana nendlela yokuhlola ngokuphephile ama-kinks nezithixo nakho kubalulekile, uyanezela.
Uma ubhekene nokucindezeleka nganoma iyiphi i-kink noma i-fetish, ukufinyelela kudokotela wocansi kungaba usizo.
OKUhlobene: Amagama Ama-2 I-Sex Therapist Awathandayo (kanye na-2 Okufanele Uwagweme)
