Kunomehluko phakathi kokuxoxa kabusha indaba ephoxayo ukuze wenze abangani bakho bahleke futhi empeleni ubhekane nemizwa engemihle eyivezayo. Kokubili kungaba izindlela zokucubungula ukuhlukumezeka, kodwa lokhu kwakamuva kuyadingeka ukuze ube nenhlalakahle yangempela yengqondo, ngokomzimba nangokomzwelo. Akuwona wonke umzuzu obangela amahloni esiba nawo ozothatha isikhathi eside, kodwa abanye bayahlala. Lezi yizikhathi ezingakhula ngaphakathi kwethu. Ziphenduka amagqubu esibambelele kuwo, zisicuphe futhi zisivimbele ekuzuzeni amandla ethu.
Uma lokhu kuzwakala kujwayelekile, lungiselela izivivinyo eziyisishiyagalombili zokuyeka ukucasuka ezizokusiza ukuthi uqhubeke nempilo yakho. Ukukhulula amagqubu nokufunda ukuthethelela akulula, kodwa kuyafaneleka.
Kuyini ukucasuka?
Ukucasuka ukucasuka okungapheli umuntu akuzwayo ngemva kokuphathwa kabi. Omqondofana ahlanganisa intukuthelo nentukuthelo, nakuba ukucasuka kuhlotshaniswa eduze kakhulu nemizwa engemihle ehlala ngemva kwesigameko, kunaleyo evela phakathi nesinye. Ngokwesibonelo, ungase uzizwe uthukuthele ngenkathi umphathi wakho ukhuluma nawe phansi phambi kweqembu lakho, kodwa uzozwa ukucasuka kamuva ngalolo suku njengoba ukhumbula okwenzeka. Ukucasuka nakho kuvame ukuphikelela ngokuhamba kwesikhathi futhi kuba imvelo yesibili, yingakho kunzima ukunyakazisa.
Kungani ukudedela kubalulekile?
Ukubambelela emizweni yokucasuka kubi kuwe—ngokoqobo. Ucwaningo lukhombisile ukubamba amagqubu kwandisa umfutho wegazi , ukushaya kwenhliziyo nomsebenzi wesimiso sezinzwa. Ngaphandle kwalokho, ukwamukela ukuthethelelwa kungathuthukisa impilo yonke ngokunciphisa amazinga okucindezeleka.
Ngaphandle kwempilo engokomzimba, ukudedela kungathuthukisa impilo yengqondo yomuntu, ubudlelwano kanye nomkhondo womsebenzi. I-Healthline imibiko intukuthelo eyakhiwe okuqondiswe ephathini eyodwa kungaphuma igazi kobunye ubudlelwano. Ukucasukela umngane wakho oseduze ngokukuqambela amanga kungase kubonakale ngokuthethisa izingane zakho phansi kwesigqoko. Ngokusho kochwepheshe Forbes , izisebenzi ezikwazi ukucabangela ngokucabangisisa ukugxeka okwakhayo futhi zidlule kunoma iyiphi intukuthelo yokuqala eziyibangelayo Amaphesenti angu-42 ngaphezulu ukuthanda umsebenzi wabo. Ngeshwa, abasebenzi abangaphansi kwamaphesenti angama-25 abakwazi ukwenza kanjalo.
Kungani kuqhubeka kanzima kangaka?
Ah, umbuzo wesigidi samadola. Ukube ukuqhubekela phambili bekulula, kulula, ngiyaxolisa, bekuzoxazulula izingxabano eziningi. Sonke besizohlala e-Whoville futhi bekungeke kube khona i-Grinch. Isihluthulelo sokuqhubekela phambili ukuthethelela, kodwa ukuthethelela akufiki kalula kubantu abaningi. Kudinga isineke, uzwelo kanye nokuba sengozini, izici ezintathu iningi lethu okufanele sizisebenzele njalo.
Futhi, uRobert Enright, PhD, uphawula ukuthi ukubukeza kabusha ukucasuka kuvame ukuvusa imizwa yokuthokoza (okungukuthi ukuxoxa kabusha indaba ebangela amahloni ukuze uhlekise abangani bakho). Uma abangani bakho beqinisekisa njalo ukuthi unelungelo lokucasuka, kungani ulwa nabo?
Inkinga iwukuthi, ukucasuka ekugcineni kuba umkhuba. Maduze, zonke izindaba zakho zizogcwala ukucasuka futhi abangani bakho bazokhathala ukuzwa indaba ebabayo efanayo ngokuphindaphindiwe. Ngakho-ke, qala ukucula iculo elihlukile. Ngezansi kunezivivinyo eziyisishiyagalombili eziyingqayizivele zokukusiza ukuthi udedele ukucasuka. Lahla lawo magqubu uqhubeke nempilo yakho!
8 Ukuyeka Ukuzivivinya Amagqubu
1. Yichaze
Awukwazi ukuphulukisa uma ungazi ukuthi yini ephukile. Ukukhomba umsuka wokucasuka kuyisinyathelo sokuqala sokuyiyeka. Ukuze wenze lokhu, kunamandla kakhulu ukukhuluma ngokuzwakalayo. Ukutshela umngane, umelaphi noma ilungu lomndeni ukuthi uzizwa kanjani kungakhulula ngendlela emangalisayo. Uma lokhu kungenzeki, bhala incwadi ongakaze uyithumele. Ungabhalela umuntu obangela intukuthelo yakho ngaphandle kokuzigxeka; ungabhalela othandekayo okusekelayo; ungavele uzibhalele ebhukwini. Ingxenye ebalulekile ukubethela imbangela. Lokhu kungaba nzima ngendlela emangalisayo ngoba kuveza imizwa engemihle futhi kukucela ukuthi uphinde uvakashele ubuhlungu. Ungase ukhale. Kulungile! Izinyembezi ziyindlela yomzimba wakho yokukhulula ingcindezi.
2. Sebenzisa uhlelo lokusebenza lokuzindla
Ukucasuka, intukuthelo nokukhathazeka konke kuyimizwa eseceleni, okusho ukuthi ivela emizweni eyinhloko efana nokuphoxeka, ukuba sengozini kanye nobuhlungu. Lapho ufunda ukuyeka, kubalulekile ukunikeza leyo mizwelo eyinhloko isikhala ukuze ibe khona. UDkt. Jud Brewer , uchwepheshe wokukhathazeka, wenza i- Ukuqeda Ukukhathazeka uhlelo lokusebenza ukusiza abantu ukunciphisa kakhulu imizwelo yesibili engemihle ngokuqaphela. Ezinye izinhlelo zokusebenza, njenge Zolile futhi I-Headspace , qondisa abantu ngokuzindla okuqondiswe kukho ukusebenzisa amandla emizwelo engemihle nokukuphinda kube yinto enhle. Lokhu kungaba yindlela enhle yokwephula ubuso bokucasuka ukuze ukwazi ukubhekana nobuhlungu futhi uqhubekele phambili.
3. Hlukana nentukuthelo yakho
Ozakwethu, abangani bakudala kanye abantu abanobuthi ekuphileni kwakho yizimbangela ezivamile zokucasuka. Uhlukene nabo, pho kungani ungahlukani nalolo laka olungapheli? I-Clarity Clinic yeluleka ngokudala ibanga elide ngangokunokwenzeka phakathi kwakho ne ex yakho. Hamba endaweni okuyo futhi ulahle (noma ucashe ukuze ungabonwa) noma yini ebangela ukucasuka. Thengisa lelo bhuku i-ex yakho ehlukumeza ngokomzwelo akunikeze yona! Nikela ngejezi owawuligqokile ngesikhathi umphathi wakho ekululaza! Ngemva kwalokho, zungeza abantu abakuthandayo nabakuhloniphayo. Zithokozise ngejezi elisha. Funda incwadi enconywe umuntu omthandayo.
4. Shintsha umbono wakho
Ochwepheshe bezengqondo ababili, u-Özlem Ayduk waseNyuvesi yaseCalifornia-Berkeley kanye no-Ethan Kross waseNyuvesi yaseMichigan, bafunde ngo umphumela wokuziqhelelanisa emizweni emibi. Ukuziqhelelanisa nawe kuyisenzo sokuphinda udlale isimo engqondweni yakho kube sengathi usibukele uphezu kwegumbi. Phinda uvakashele umcimbi okudala ukucasuka ngaphandle kokuqagela ukuthi omunye ohililekile ucabangeni noma wazizwa kanjani ngaleso sikhathi. Yiziphi izenzo umuntu azithatha? Yimaphi amagama akhulunywa ngumuntu? Cabanga ngalo msebenzi njengokuphungula ukuhumusha kwakho okuthinta imizwa, ucacisa amaqiniso esikhundleni salokho. Lapho bezijwayeza ukuziqhelelanisa, ababambiqhaza ocwaningweni luka-Ayduk no-Kross bakwazile ukusondela enqubweni yabo yokuphulukisa besuka endaweni yokuzicabangela yona kanye neyokuxazulula izinkinga, kunesikhala esithinta imizwa.
5. Yamukela igqubu
Ababambe amagqubu abomele ukuziphindiselela bangase bawuthande umsindo walo msebenzi ekuqaleni, kodwa kudlulela ngalé kokuvumela amagqubu ukuthi abambelele. USophie Hannah uthatha indlela engajwayelekile yokwelapha encwadini yakhe, Indlela Yokubamba Amagqubu . Umongo yilo: Kufanele ufunde okuthile ekucasukeleni kwakho. Ngeke nje ihlale lapho, ithathe indawo futhi ingenzi lutho. U-Hana ugcizelela ukuthi uzwe yonke imizwa ehlobene negqubu bese ubhala phansi yonke indaba yomsuka wayo, egqamisa lokho okholelwa ukuthi kwakuyinto efanele ukwenziwa ngaleso sikhathi nokuthi yini okufanele yenziwe namuhla. Ngemva kwalokho, cabanga ngalokho okufundile kulokho okuhlangenwe nakho. Lesi senzo asikuceli ngokusobala ukuthi uxolele, kodwa sikucela ukuthi ubonge umthombo wokucasuka kwakho ngokukufundisa isifundo sempilo.
6. Shintsha izicathulo ngomthombo
Ukuhamba imayela ezicathulweni zomunye umuntu kukunikeza ukuqonda okukhulu kokuthi uvelaphi, lapho bekhona nokuthi kungani benza ngendlela abenza ngayo. Njengoba uJudith Orloff, MD, echaza encwadini yakhe, Inkululeko Yemizwelo , ukuqonda ukuhlukumezeka komunye umuntu kubangela ububele obukhulu ngabanye. Ububele, noma uzwela lwangempela ngamashwa abanye, yisithako esiyinhloko ekuthetheleleni. Uma sicabangela iqiniso lokuthi ukuziphatha komuntu cishe kuhlobene kakhulu nemithwalo yakhe kunokusebenza kwethu, kushintsha indlela esibuka ngayo ukusebenzelana nalo muntu. Kuyafaneleka futhi ukubhala phansi izenzo okungenzeka ukuthi uzithathile zilimaze omunye umuntu.
7. Khetha i-mantra enhle
Ibhalansi yasemadolobheni , ithimba elizinze e-Chicago labelaphi abanelayisensi abangaphezu kuka-150, elimelela amandla olimi oluhle. Kunokuba uvumele imicabango yokucasuka ifiphaze ingqondo yakho, khetha igama noma umusho ovusa imizwa yokubonga noma yokuqonda. Linga ngemishwana ehlukene esho okuthile kuwe futhi esiza ngokusebenzayo ukushintsha indlela ocabanga ngayo. Kungaba into efana neka-Aristotle, Ukubekezela kuyababa, kodwa izithelo zakhona zimnandi. Mhlawumbe igama nje, njengokukhululwa noma ukuthethelela. Lapho nje imizwa yokucasuka ingena, bamise endleleni yabo ngale mantra. Lokhu kuvivinya kungase kuzwakale kubuhlungu ekuqaleni, kodwa ngokuhamba kwesikhathi kungasiza ukuqeda noma ukunciphisa imizwa engemihle. Kusebenza futhi njengokuncoma okuhle kwezinye izivivinyo ezisohlwini lwethu.
8. Hlanga inhlamba
Enye indlela yokuqinisekisa ukuthi ukucasuka kubangelwa ukuqhubeka nokuchitha isikhathi namandla ukhuluma ngomuntu okubangele. Umagazini Omuhle Kakhudlwana iveza izindlela ezimbalwa zokuthethelela; enye yiku yeka ukukhuluma izinto ezimbi noma ezingathandeki mayelana nomthombo wentukuthelo nokucasuka kwakho. Lokhu akusho ukumisa yonke ingxoxo ngalo muntu, kodwa kusho ukuziluma ulimi lapho uzwa isifiso sokukhumbula indaba ebuhlungu (okungukuthi ukuphinda uxoxe indaba ephoxayo ukuze uhlekise abangani bakho). Awudingi ukucula izindumiso zabo kodwa ukwenza umzamo oqotho wokugwema ulimi olubi kuzobeka inkundla yokuthethelela.
Ukuyeka ukucasuka kuwumjaho webanga elide, hhayi ukugijima. Iqhinga ngalinye esohlwini lwethu lisebenza imisipha ehlukene futhi lingase lingasebenzi kuwo wonke umuntu. Zama ngayinye, bambelela kulokho okusizayo futhi uyeke okunye.
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